I'm BACK!

Although I technically haven't gone anywhere (other than work, and maybe a few short trips home), I'm back on the blog. It's time to start writing again.

but...I've decided to switch things over to Wordpress.com.

You'll be able to find me now at http://beyondthewell.wordpress.com.

I hope to see you there!

coming to you from Phoenix, AZ

It's been a long time since I've posted on this blog. I'm kind of disappointed with myself for not keeping up with it like I feel like I should. I'll do better. Really, I will.

So, as the title indicates, I'm writing this entry live from Phoenix, Arizona. I've been here since Monday evening (really early Tuesday morning) enjoying Christmas with my mommy and my sisters and my brother. It's such an interesting experience.

One thing I've learned since being here is that I will NEVER outgrow my mom's cooking, or laying my head in her lap while we're watching television. Call me crazy, or a big overgrown kid...I say that I'm appreciating the simple things in life.

I've also REALLY noticed how much my sisters and my brother are growing up. Obviously, there are the physical changes (way to go puberty), but also having conversations with them and listening to how they process things is amazing to me. It also makes me wonder if I was "like that" at ages 13, 15, and 16. They never cease to amaze me, and I'm proud to have siblings who are so beautiful, so talented, and so giving.

While Phoenix is not "home" for me, this visit has been a reminder that home really isn't the physical structure- it's the people you're with, the memories you share and create, and the unconditional love. A house doesn't give that, but you can find it wherever you make your home.


Wishing you God's best....

will the real erin davis please stand up?

It's amazing what technology can do these days. Check out the email that I received on Wednesday, just before preparing to leave for Thanksgiving:

Hello, Erin.

You don't know me but I am going to do for you what I wish someone would have done for me a year and a half ago. K** H***** was a delivery man for RTI when I met him about 15 years ago. He delivered packages to the school where I was a preschool director. He had tried to talk to me then but I was happily married and paid no attention.

Over the years my marriage became stale, my husband worked a lot of hours, we had some financial problems, I was feeling neglected and taken for granted. In July of 2006, I ran into K** H***** again. I had two children by then aged 8 and 15.

We started talking and he obviously sensed my vulnerabilty and took advantage of it. He began to do and be all of the things that I was missing at home. He took such an interest in my life and my job. He wanted to know everything that happened in my life. He became my best friend and confident. We began an affair. I am not proud of this, I was raised in a religious home, attended a parochial school, but it happened. I told him over and over that we needed to slow down; that I was falling in love with him. He said "good", because he felt the same way. He became jealous of my husband, telling me not to sleep with him, etc. I told my husband that I had to take an additional class for my job and spent every tues and thurs evening at K**'s house in addition to any other time during the week or weekend that I could get away. Finally after 6 months, my husband caught me heading to Oxford when I was supposed to be going to school. I admitted that I had been having an affair and was in love. He moved out of the house in February.

As soon as I was free to talk to K** anytime I wanted and to see him all the time, I realized that there were several periods of time that I could not find him. I would call late at night or early in the morning and he wouldn't answer any of his phones. We began to fight a lot. I found out that he could be truly mean and insensitive. We fought so bad that we broke up several times. During one of those times he actually sent me a picture of some other woman in her bra and panties posing in his bathtub to hurt me and make me jealous. When we would make up he would always tell me that the other women were just "friends" and that he wasn't sleeping with anyone else, but I'm not crazy and didn't believe him. One night I held a meeting at my school and he didn't believe that's where I was. He called me on my cell and accused me of seeing someone else. I drove all the way out to his house to show him the receipt from the pizza that we had served at the meeting to prove where I was and there was a strange car in his driveway and he wouldn't answer the door.

I didn't talk to him for a couple months after that. Then in the beginning of October he started calling and coming around again. I had tried to forget him and started to see someone else, but I was still in love with him and he knew it. I found the birthday card that you gave him in his truck so I knew that he was seeing someone but he said you were just another "friend". He made the mistake a couple of weeks ago of sending me an email that he had also forwarded to you so I got your email address.

I know that you are at least one of the people that he is currently seeing because I was in his bed Sunday morning when you called around 9:15 a.m. I didn't come to his father's funeral because I am white and didn't want to answer a whole lot of questions about who I was and how I knew him. I have been with him at least once a week for the past 6 weeks again.

I think that he is lying to both of us and probably several others. I don't think that he has the capacity to be faithful to anyone. I am going to try to stop seeing him and forget him. I know that the only way I can do that is to get him to leave me alone. This will probably make him mad enough to finally stop calling me. I hope that it's not too late for you to get out. Even if you decide not to, at least you know the truth. He can never be honest or true to anyone. I also don't think that he can ever love anyone else because he is too in love with himself. Even though he says it, I don't think that he really knows what it means.

He has ruined my life, I hope he doesn't do the same to you. We always blame the other women when it is really these men that play with our emotions that we should punish. If you want to know anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I truly wish someone would have sent me this email before I got so involved with him. They would have saved myself and my family so much pain and heartache.

Good luck
M

While this entire email situation is sad; the worst part is that she divulged this information to a TOTAL STRANGER. I replied and let her know that I was sorry for her situation, but that I didn't know the person that she was speaking of. After exchanging emails for a while, she realized that I was telling the truth, and that there might just be someone else out there named Erin Davis who was involved with this man.

After receiving this, I talked with a couple of people that I know about the prevalence of extramarital affairs- and I was overwhelmingly surprised at what they told me. Apparently, people frequently engage in extramarital affairs- it's a common occurrence of some sorts. Definitely not news that you want to hear. Your thoughts?

clearing out and cleaning up

Usually when I start posts here, I have an idea of what I'm going to say. I can't say that's the case this time. I just know that the title completely describes what needs to take place in my life.

I feel like one of the biggest challenges I face is to not let ANYTHING completely take over my life. For the last few weeks, I've been somewhere between working ALL the time and/or at church ALL the time for various meetings and commitments. I have a ridiculously long list of things that I need to do (laundry, cooking, going to the dry cleaners) and I never feel like there's enough time to get them done. On the nights when I'm not overly committed to something else, I'm usually too tired or unmotivated to do anything meaningful. I want the professional success and it's important to me to serve Christ in the ways that I've been called to do so. I don't feel that I should need an extra 2-3 hours in the day to do so.

While I'm feeling a bit over-committed in some areas of my life, I feel that I'm really not doing well with dealing with people. I've gone through phases since being in Athens where I've felt lonely and homesick, and I kinda feel that way now. But there's also a different component to this, where I actually just crave an inner circle; people who know me and understand me and love me for me. While I love and appreciate being on my own, I wish that I could have the opportunity to do cocktails with the girls or have a movie night. I guess I feel detached from everything and everyone...including myself.

At the end of the day, I can live with myself- the mistakes that I've made, the regrets, the hopes for the future. Trying to navigate it and understand it is much more difficult. I feel like there is a severe need to clear out some things and reorganize my life. I wish I knew where to begin...



"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." ~Matthew 6:33

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." ~Psalm 27:13-14

faith.

I get between 3-5 devotionals in my email everyday, each for a different reason. The goal is to try to read them in the morning, when I first wake up, or when I first get to work so that I can have that good foundation for the day. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. One of the devotionals that I receive is from Proverbs 31 Ministries, and it's a devotional especially for women. I LOVE this devotional, and the ministry, because I feel like the women who write the devotionals are authentic about their worship and their relationship with God.

Today's devotional was about having faith in the things that God has called you to do. This spoke to my situation, as I know that God is in the process of taking me to a higher level; however, I've been constantly questioning and being unsure of what's to come. Here's what the devotional said that really spoke to me:

This past year God called me to "step out" in a variety of ways in my life. His callings took me into unfamiliar territory. I, too, had a choice to make. I either had to stay where I was, or cross the Sea. To stay where I was meant that I wouldn't fulfill the "hope of my calling," or enter my "promised land". This is where God's blessings would flow fully and abundantly to me and through me as I allowed Him to be Lord of my life. There's much reward in obedience. I knew that crossing the sea was the way to go. I knew it was best for me, and yet I stood on the shore saying, "Do I cross or not cross?"

Put yourself in the place of the Israelites. Picture yourself standing by the Red Sea. The Egyptians are hot on your trail. Moses raises the staff and the waters part. You're standing on the shore looking at that. You have to run down a hill to the bottom of the sea. Can you imagine how high the walls of water would be on each side of you? What about the noise of the wind holding the water back? You'd be thinking, "If I run into this, will the waters stay back until I get across? Can I make it before the waters come crashing back in?" "By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land."

Even when God is offering deliverance or a good path, it still takes faith to accept it!

The good news is our God is so faithful to us. He doesn't stand on the other side of the sea shouting, "Hurry up and run!" He gently and lovingly stands by our side, takes our hand, and says: "Beloved, don't be afraid. I will not leave you nor forsake you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you walk through the waters I will be with you, they will not sweep over you, for I am the Lord your God and I love you...together, let's cross the sea" (adapted from Isaiah 43)...

Whatever sea of circumstances you might have, may you, by faith, cross the sea as though on dry land.

So, I have been encouraged as I venture to this higher level in being reminded that God is faithful, caring, loving, and able to do EXACTLY what He said.

Wishing you God's best!




"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."
~Romans 4:20-21

a new way to view my job

Working in the Office of Admissions for any college is challenging. Working in the Office of Admissions in a BRAND NEW college is especially challenging. Welcome to my world.

Every day at work I experience something different. However, one thing that remains constant is the push to get more students. My coworker and I hear it from our enrollment management division all the way to faculty and other staff members. Everyone wants more students. We want to bring them more students. However, I believe that the underlying idea would be for us to bring them good students. This would never be said, but I think that idea exists.

While reading InsideHigherEd.com last week, I found an article about progression requirements at colleges. Progression requirements basically outline the progression a student should be making towards their diploma, usually in terms of courses taken and GPA earned. What intrigued me more than the article about progression requirements was a comment that linked to a blog about academic customer service. The blog is written by Neal Raisman, who is a consultant for academic customer service. He's has created 15 principles of academic customer service, which he uses to help schools become even better at administering service to students. In his July 30th entry, he discusses a change he made to one of the principles. Read the excerpt:

There has been a change in the 15 Principles of Good Academic Customer Service. (If you'd like a copy, click here) It became obvious to us that the old Principle 7 Websites must be well-designed, easy to navigate, written for and focused on students and actually informative was actually starting to be heeded. More and more colleges and universities were calling to ask for help in redesigning their websites to meet Principle 7. The recognition of the importance of the web is a reality for most schools...

Every school seems to be after better students (than what they have I suppose though few can actually annunciate a clear definition of better). Even colleges and universities that are considered selective to highly selective want better. No one seems to be satisfied with the level of their students’ abilities, intellectual curiosity or aptitude. They all believe admissions needs to recruit better students. It is admissions job and fault after all. They seem to want students who can already write, do calculus, think and know subjects at the college level. Students who will love learning in all subjects just as they who want the better students did not.

But the reality is that most students will not fall into that already smart group. In fact, they are coming to college to get smart because they are not there yet. It is our job not to recognize their brilliance but to amplify and add to what they bring with them so they can become more intelligent in general and even competent in other areas so they can leave college and get a career/job.

Keep in mind that even the best universities have to offer developmental courses to some of their top students. Yes, I know. Your school does not offer remedial courses. Your students are above the norm. Right. Check out some of the introductory course curricula. Giving a course other than a developmental name does not make it non-developmental. Some of these courses are even watered down enough so their geniuses can pass. Poetry for Physics Majors anyone?

The admission folks have not failed you when they recruit a class for you to teach. The students they bring in are what they could sign up for the school. They come from high schools which may or may not have really prepared them well for future study. They may be nerds, artists, math whizzes, writers, jocks, generally intelligent, over achievers, under-performers, unmotivated, awkward, smooth, tall, short, fat, thin, excited or bored. The one thing they have in common is they have decided to trust you and your school to get them to their goals. They are putting their future in your classroom. They may not yet be bright but then your job is to help them get closer to intelligence and ability.

They may not write well. You are to help them learn to communicate better.

Algebra could be just a total blank. Fill in the spaces.

Science a foggy notion. Clarify.

Bored by your class. Excite them!

And just as someone helped make you into the brilliant member of the collegiate community you are, you have the same job for each and every student in your care. To elevate them so they can join whatever career and community they seek in life.


If they already knew and could do, they wouldn’t need you or your university. If they were already their best, what would there be for you to do? But don’t worry; our high school grads do need you and college to become their best.

So, Principle 7 has changed to become

The goal is not necessarily to recruit the best students.

It is to make the students you do recruit their best.

So there we have it...that's the new way that I view my job. The students that I recruit may not be the best- but I have the opportunity to help them become the best by recruiting them to our school.

true life: i have a therapist

So, I'm actually very hesitant about writing this post. I've thought about it for days, and I guess we'll see what comes out as I write.

The title says it all: I have a therapist. And to be honest, she's fabulous. It's not some situation where I think my life is miserable or I have an eating disorder, or I'm going through some dramatic life changing situation. It's actually quite different. There have been several things in my life that have affected me, and I made the personal decision to go to therapy because I felt that it would be good for me. I felt that it would be good to talk with an unbiased, spiritually grounded person who could help me articulate a lot of the things in my head.

I know that therapy is usually reserved for people who have "real" problems. I guess that would include me...and if you're honest, it might be you as well.

As Jay-Z would say, "Thank God for granting me this moment of clarity, this moment of honesty."

it's been too long

It's a bit ridiculous that I haven't updated my blog in a month. I should really do better. The sad thing, is that there is so much that I want to say, but my job is seriously taking over my life. Well, that and trying to still have a life while negotiating the real world.

I always thought that having a real job and being an adult was easy. Sure, you have to be at work on time, and you have work-related responsibilities; but you don't have homework, papers, and presentations. Or at least that's how I imagined it to be. I see now that I was horribly mistaken. I still have deadlines to meet, proposals to write, presentations to prepare for. There's no more of the extended lunch hours, or making decisions on going to class based on the weather. Life is different. You don't work, you don't eat. I've become accustomed to being fed, having a roof over my head, being able to pay my bills, and buy a few other things on the side. I suppose I'm shifting from the "Quarter-Life Crisis" to really living life as an adult.

Part of my job consists of going to high schools to recruit students for college. If you all think back to your high school days, you may remember seeing college recruiters in the lunch room/cafeteria/commons area during your lunch. Now, I'm that person waiting for students to come and talk to me, to fill out a contact card, or to get more information about the school. While it's not the most exciting part of what I do, I have found some entertainment in people watching. We all know that high school is such an interesting and challenging time for students; however, I promise you that I have seen some of the BIGGEST fashion mistakes from high school students. For example, who said it was okay to have hot pink/magenta/fuschia weave in your head? Or when is it ever okay to have your entire head slicked down with a jar of gel, only to have a long flowing ponytail of someone's hair stuck to the top? I've seen teachers with rat tails, students have asked me for money, and I've witnessed a fight in the cafeteria. I'm confident that by the end of this recruiting season, I'll have seen it all.

All that said, I do enjoy what I do. The travel allows me to see different parts of Georgia that I probably wouldn't have seen by myself, and the college fairs have given me the opportunity to meet colleagues from a number of different schools. Of course there are challenges, but that is to be expected. Simply put, I'm blessed.

Peace and blessings...


PS- For those of you who check this, I promise I'll update more regularly. Besides, I am certain that God is preparing me for some awesome things that I can't wait to share with you all :-)