beyond the well, before the arch

I'm BACK!

2008-04-04T10:08:00.003-04:00

Although I technically haven't gone anywhere (other than work, and maybe a few short trips home), I'm back on the blog. It's time to start writing again.

but...I've decided to switch things over to Wordpress.com.

You'll be able to find me now at http://beyondthewell.wordpress.com.

I hope to see you there!

coming to you from Phoenix, AZ

2007-12-26T11:08:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I've posted on this blog. I'm kind of disappointed with myself for not keeping up with it like I feel like I should. I'll do better. Really, I will.

So, as the title indicates, I'm writing this entry live from Phoenix, Arizona. I've been here since Monday evening (really early Tuesday morning) enjoying Christmas with my mommy and my sisters and my brother. It's such an interesting experience.

One thing I've learned since being here is that I will NEVER outgrow my mom's cooking, or laying my head in her lap while we're watching television. Call me crazy, or a big overgrown kid...I say that I'm appreciating the simple things in life.

I've also REALLY noticed how much my sisters and my brother are growing up. Obviously, there are the physical changes (way to go puberty), but also having conversations with them and listening to how they process things is amazing to me. It also makes me wonder if I was "like that" at ages 13, 15, and 16. They never cease to amaze me, and I'm proud to have siblings who are so beautiful, so talented, and so giving.

While Phoenix is not "home" for me, this visit has been a reminder that home really isn't the physical structure- it's the people you're with, the memories you share and create, and the unconditional love. A house doesn't give that, but you can find it wherever you make your home.

Wishing you God's best....

will the real erin davis please stand up?

2007-11-25T16:29:00.000-05:00

It's amazing what technology can do these days. Check out the email that I received on Wednesday, just before preparing to leave for Thanksgiving:

Hello, Erin.

You don't know me but I am going to do for you what I wish someone would have done for me a year and a half ago. K** H***** was a delivery man for RTI when I met him about 15 years ago. He delivered packages to the school where I was a preschool director. He had tried to talk to me then but I was happily married and paid no attention.

Over the years my marriage became stale, my husband worked a lot of hours, we had some financial problems, I was feeling neglected and taken for granted. In July of 2006, I ran into K** H***** again. I had two children by then aged 8 and 15.

We started talking and he obviously sensed my vulnerabilty and took advantage of it. He began to do and be all of the things that I was missing at home. He took such an interest in my life and my job. He wanted to know everything that happened in my life. He became my best friend and confident. We began an affair. I am not proud of this, I was raised in a religious home, attended a parochial school, but it happened. I told him over and over that we needed to slow down; that I was falling in love with him. He said "good", because he felt the same way. He became jealous of my husband, telling me not to sleep with him, etc. I told my husband that I had to take an additional class for my job and spent every tues and thurs evening at K**'s house in addition to any other time during the week or weekend that I could get away. Finally after 6 months, my husband caught me heading to Oxford when I was supposed to be going to school. I admitted that I had been having an affair and was in love. He moved out of the house in February.

As soon as I was free to talk to K** anytime I wanted and to see him all the time, I realized that there were several periods of time that I could not find him. I would call late at night or early in the morning and he wouldn't answer any of his phones. We began to fight a lot. I found out that he could be truly mean and insensitive. We fought so bad that we broke up several times. During one of those times he actually sent me a picture of some other woman in her bra and panties posing in his bathtub to hurt me and make me jealous. When we would make up he would always tell me that the other women were just "friends" and that he wasn't sleeping with anyone else, but I'm not crazy and didn't believe him. One night I held a meeting at my school and he didn't believe that's where I was. He called me on my cell and accused me of seeing someone else. I drove all the way out to his house to show him the receipt from the pizza that we had served at the meeting to prove where I was and there was a strange car in his driveway and he wouldn't answer the door.

I didn't talk to him for a couple months after that. Then in the beginning of October he started calling and coming around again. I had tried to forget him and started to see someone else, but I was still in love with him and he knew it. I found the birthday card that you gave him in his truck so I knew that he was seeing someone but he said you were just another "friend". He made the mistake a couple of weeks ago of sending me an email that he had also forwarded to you so I got your email address.

I know that you are at least one of the people that he is currently seeing because I was in his bed Sunday morning when you called around 9:15 a.m. I didn't come to his father's funeral because I am white and didn't want to answer a whole lot of questions about who I was and how I knew him. I have been with him at least once a week for the past 6 weeks again.

I think that he is lying to both of us and probably several others. I don't think that he has the capacity to be faithful to anyone. I am going to try to stop seeing him and forget him. I know that the only way I can do that is to get him to leave me alone. This will probably make him mad enough to finally stop calling me. I hope that it's not too late for you to get out. Even if you decide not to, at least you know the truth. He can never be honest or true to anyone. I also don't think that he can ever love anyone else because he is too in love with himself. Even though he says it, I don't think that he really knows what it means.

He has ruined my life, I hope he doesn't do the same to you. We always blame the other women when it is really these men that play with our emotions that we should punish. If you want to know anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I truly wish someone would have sent me this email before I got so involved with him. They would have saved myself and my family so much pain and heartache.

Good luck
M

While this entire email situation is sad; the worst part is that she divulged this information to a TOTAL STRANGER. I replied and let her know that I was sorry for her situation, but that I didn't know the person that she was speaking of. After exchanging emails for a while, she realized that I was telling the truth, and that there might just be someone else out there named Erin Davis who was involved with this man.

After receiving this, I talked with a couple of people that I know about the prevalence of extramarital affairs- and I was overwhelmingly surprised at what they told me. Apparently, people frequently engage in extramarital affairs- it's a common occurrence of some sorts. Definitely not news that you want to hear. Your thoughts?

clearing out and cleaning up

2007-11-04T21:26:00.000-05:00

Usually when I start posts here, I have an idea of what I'm going to say. I can't say that's the case this time. I just know that the title completely describes what needs to take place in my life.

I feel like one of the biggest challenges I face is to not let ANYTHING completely take over my life. For the last few weeks, I've been somewhere between working ALL the time and/or at church ALL the time for various meetings and commitments. I have a ridiculously long list of things that I need to do (laundry, cooking, going to the dry cleaners) and I never feel like there's enough time to get them done. On the nights when I'm not overly committed to something else, I'm usually too tired or unmotivated to do anything meaningful. I want the professional success and it's important to me to serve Christ in the ways that I've been called to do so. I don't feel that I should need an extra 2-3 hours in the day to do so.

While I'm feeling a bit over-committed in some areas of my life, I feel that I'm really not doing well with dealing with people. I've gone through phases since being in Athens where I've felt lonely and homesick, and I kinda feel that way now. But there's also a different component to this, where I actually just crave an inner circle; people who know me and understand me and love me for me. While I love and appreciate being on my own, I wish that I could have the opportunity to do cocktails with the girls or have a movie night. I guess I feel detached from everything and everyone...including myself.

At the end of the day, I can live with myself- the mistakes that I've made, the regrets, the hopes for the future. Trying to navigate it and understand it is much more difficult. I feel like there is a severe need to clear out some things and reorganize my life. I wish I knew where to begin...

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." ~Matthew 6:33

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." ~Psalm 27:13-14

faith.

2007-10-23T09:41:00.000-04:00

I get between 3-5 devotionals in my email everyday, each for a different reason. The goal is to try to read them in the morning, when I first wake up, or when I first get to work so that I can have that good foundation for the day. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. One of the devotionals that I receive is from Proverbs 31 Ministries, and it's a devotional especially for women. I LOVE this devotional, and the ministry, because I feel like the women who write the devotionals are authentic about their worship and their relationship with God.

Today's devotional was about having faith in the things that God has called you to do. This spoke to my situation, as I know that God is in the process of taking me to a higher level; however, I've been constantly questioning and being unsure of what's to come. Here's what the devotional said that really spoke to me:

This past year God called me to "step out" in a variety of ways in my life. His callings took me into unfamiliar territory. I, too, had a choice to make. I either had to stay where I was, or cross the Sea. To stay where I was meant that I wouldn't fulfill the "hope of my calling," or enter my "promised land". This is where God's blessings would flow fully and abundantly to me and through me as I allowed Him to be Lord of my life. There's much reward in obedience. I knew that crossing the sea was the way to go. I knew it was best for me, and yet I stood on the shore saying, "Do I cross or not cross?"

Put yourself in the place of the Israelites. Picture yourself standing by the Red Sea. The Egyptians are hot on your trail. Moses raises the staff and the waters part. You're standing on the shore looking at that. You have to run down a hill to the bottom of the sea. Can you imagine how high the walls of water would be on each side of you? What about the noise of the wind holding the water back? You'd be thinking, "If I run into this, will the waters stay back until I get across? Can I make it before the waters come crashing back in?" "By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land."

Even when God is offering deliverance or a good path, it still takes faith to accept it!

The good news is our God is so faithful to us. He doesn't stand on the other side of the sea shouting, "Hurry up and run!" He gently and lovingly stands by our side, takes our hand, and says: "Beloved, don't be afraid. I will not leave you nor forsake you, I have summoned you by name, you are mine. When you walk through the waters I will be with you, they will not sweep over you, for I am the Lord your God and I love you...together, let's cross the sea" (adapted from Isaiah 43)...

Whatever sea of circumstances you might have, may you, by faith, cross the sea as though on dry land.

So, I have been encouraged as I venture to this higher level in being reminded that God is faithful, caring, loving, and able to do EXACTLY what He said.

Wishing you God's best!

"Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised."
~Romans 4:20-21

a new way to view my job

2007-10-08T20:35:00.001-04:00

Working in the Office of Admissions for any college is challenging. Working in the Office of Admissions in a BRAND NEW college is especially challenging. Welcome to my world.

Every day at work I experience something different. However, one thing that remains constant is the push to get more students. My coworker and I hear it from our enrollment management division all the way to faculty and other staff members. Everyone wants more students. We want to bring them more students. However, I believe that the underlying idea would be for us to bring them good students. This would never be said, but I think that idea exists.

While reading InsideHigherEd.com last week, I found an article about progression requirements at colleges. Progression requirements basically outline the progression a student should be making towards their diploma, usually in terms of courses taken and GPA earned. What intrigued me more than the article about progression requirements was a comment that linked to a blog about academic customer service. The blog is written by Neal Raisman, who is a consultant for academic customer service. He's has created 15 principles of academic customer service, which he uses to help schools become even better at administering service to students. In his July 30th entry, he discusses a change he made to one of the principles. Read the excerpt:

There has been a change in the 15 Principles of Good Academic Customer Service. (If you'd like a copy, click here) It became obvious to us that the old Principle 7 Websites must be well-designed, easy to navigate, written for and focused on students and actually informative was actually starting to be heeded. More and more colleges and universities were calling to ask for help in redesigning their websites to meet Principle 7. The recognition of the importance of the web is a reality for most schools...

Every school seems to be after better students (than what they have I suppose though few can actually annunciate a clear definition of better). Even colleges and universities that are considered selective to highly selective want better. No one seems to be satisfied with the level of their students’ abilities, intellectual curiosity or aptitude. They all believe admissions needs to recruit better students. It is admissions job and fault after all. They seem to want students who can already write, do calculus, think and know subjects at the college level. Students who will love learning in all subjects just as they who want the better students did not.

But the reality is that most students will not fall into that already smart group. In fact, they are coming to college to get smart because they are not there yet. It is our job not to recognize their brilliance but to amplify and add to what they bring with them so they can become more intelligent in general and even competent in other areas so they can leave college and get a career/job.

Keep in mind that even the best universities have to offer developmental courses to some of their top students. Yes, I know. Your school does not offer remedial courses. Your students are above the norm. Right. Check out some of the introductory course curricula. Giving a course other than a developmental name does not make it non-developmental. Some of these courses are even watered down enough so their geniuses can pass. Poetry for Physics Majors anyone?

The admission folks have not failed you when they recruit a class for you to teach. The students they bring in are what they could sign up for the school. They come from high schools which may or may not have really prepared them well for future study. They may be nerds, artists, math whizzes, writers, jocks, generally intelligent, over achievers, under-performers, unmotivated, awkward, smooth, tall, short, fat, thin, excited or bored. The one thing they have in common is they have decided to trust you and your school to get them to their goals. They are putting their future in your classroom. They may not yet be bright but then your job is to help them get closer to intelligence and ability.

They may not write well. You are to help them learn to communicate better.

Algebra could be just a total blank. Fill in the spaces.

Science a foggy notion. Clarify.

Bored by your class. Excite them!

And just as someone helped make you into the brilliant member of the collegiate community you are, you have the same job for each and every student in your care. To elevate them so they can join whatever career and community they seek in life.

If they already knew and could do, they wouldn’t need you or your university. If they were already their best, what would there be for you to do? But don’t worry; our high school grads do need you and college to become their best.

So, Principle 7 has changed to become

The goal is not necessarily to recruit the best students.

It is to make the students you do recruit their best.

So there we have it...that's the new way that I view my job. The students that I recruit may not be the best- but I have the opportunity to help them become the best by recruiting them to our school.

true life: i have a therapist

2007-10-08T20:15:00.000-04:00

So, I'm actually very hesitant about writing this post. I've thought about it for days, and I guess we'll see what comes out as I write.

The title says it all: I have a therapist. And to be honest, she's fabulous. It's not some situation where I think my life is miserable or I have an eating disorder, or I'm going through some dramatic life changing situation. It's actually quite different. There have been several things in my life that have affected me, and I made the personal decision to go to therapy because I felt that it would be good for me. I felt that it would be good to talk with an unbiased, spiritually grounded person who could help me articulate a lot of the things in my head.

I know that therapy is usually reserved for people who have "real" problems. I guess that would include me...and if you're honest, it might be you as well.

As Jay-Z would say, "Thank God for granting me this moment of clarity, this moment of honesty."

it's been too long

2007-09-28T18:08:00.000-04:00

It's a bit ridiculous that I haven't updated my blog in a month. I should really do better. The sad thing, is that there is so much that I want to say, but my job is seriously taking over my life. Well, that and trying to still have a life while negotiating the real world.

I always thought that having a real job and being an adult was easy. Sure, you have to be at work on time, and you have work-related responsibilities; but you don't have homework, papers, and presentations. Or at least that's how I imagined it to be. I see now that I was horribly mistaken. I still have deadlines to meet, proposals to write, presentations to prepare for. There's no more of the extended lunch hours, or making decisions on going to class based on the weather. Life is different. You don't work, you don't eat. I've become accustomed to being fed, having a roof over my head, being able to pay my bills, and buy a few other things on the side. I suppose I'm shifting from the "Quarter-Life Crisis" to really living life as an adult.

Part of my job consists of going to high schools to recruit students for college. If you all think back to your high school days, you may remember seeing college recruiters in the lunch room/cafeteria/commons area during your lunch. Now, I'm that person waiting for students to come and talk to me, to fill out a contact card, or to get more information about the school. While it's not the most exciting part of what I do, I have found some entertainment in people watching. We all know that high school is such an interesting and challenging time for students; however, I promise you that I have seen some of the BIGGEST fashion mistakes from high school students. For example, who said it was okay to have hot pink/magenta/fuschia weave in your head? Or when is it ever okay to have your entire head slicked down with a jar of gel, only to have a long flowing ponytail of someone's hair stuck to the top? I've seen teachers with rat tails, students have asked me for money, and I've witnessed a fight in the cafeteria. I'm confident that by the end of this recruiting season, I'll have seen it all.

All that said, I do enjoy what I do. The travel allows me to see different parts of Georgia that I probably wouldn't have seen by myself, and the college fairs have given me the opportunity to meet colleagues from a number of different schools. Of course there are challenges, but that is to be expected. Simply put, I'm blessed.

Peace and blessings...

PS- For those of you who check this, I promise I'll update more regularly. Besides, I am certain that God is preparing me for some awesome things that I can't wait to share with you all :-)

Finally, something good from Duke

2007-08-30T22:18:00.000-04:00

It's hard for me to believe that anything good could come from Duke, other than something in the likes of Grant Hill, Dahntay Jones, and Jason Williams. However, after reading this article in the AJC, I realized that I may have been wrong.

The article explores the hypocrisy of white culture as it relates to Michael Vick. While I initially thought that it would address how it seems that white culture has completely alienated Michael Vick, this article is written purely from an animal rights perspective. Though I'm not familiar with animal rights, I can appreciate what is being said.

Here's an excerpt of the article:

We need to face the fact that dog fighting is not the only "sport" that abuses animals. Cruelty also occurs in rodeos, horse and dog racing (all of which mistreat animals and often kill them when no longer useful). There are also millions of dogs and cats we put to death in "shelters" across the country because they lack a home, and billions of creatures we torture in factory farms for our food.

Vick treated his dogs very cruelly; there is no question about that. But I see one important difference between these more socially acceptable mistreatments and the anger focused on Vick: Vick is black, and most of the folks in charge of the other activities are white.

Some might argue that the difference between dogfighting and these other forms of animal abuse is that dogfighting is illegal. That's true, but the fact that dogfighting is illegal while other institutions remain acceptable is because dogfighting no longer a sport of the middle and upper class.

Dogfighting (and cock fighting) used to be "sports" enjoyed by the upper classes in the United States and were, then, perfectly legal.

In the last 50 years, however, they have become the domain mostly of blacks, Latinos and poor whites — and were ruled illegal. Now, while white middle and upper classes continue to watch horses run to the point of exhaustion and risk breaking their legs, they regard dogfighting as something that only low-class "thugs and drug dealers" find entertaining. Indeed, a reading of many of the Vick news stories indicts him and his friends as much for being involved in hip-hop subculture as for fighting dogs. Several proponents of animal rights have used the Vick case to draw attention to the widespread abuse of animals, but they are primarily trying to persuade people to become vegans.

I look at this another way: If we find dogfighting unacceptable but we can live with other forms of animal abuse, what is the underlying distinction? Could it have more to do with the culture surrounding the human beings involved and less to do with the animals?

I am not saying dogfighting is acceptable, but rather that Vick should be publicly criticized for that activity, not for his participation in hip-hop subculture. Whether or not dogs are fought more by minorities than white people is actually unknown, but the media representations of the last several weeks make it appear that black culture and dogfighting are inextricably intertwined. We need to find ways to condemn dogfighting without denigrating black culture with it.

What do you think?

what we believe

2007-08-26T19:42:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a lot about faith and what I believe in regards to my relationship with God. Reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz really opened my eyes to the many ways that our belief in God can be expressed. If you haven't read it, I strongly recommend it.

A few weeks ago my pastor preached from Daniel, using the well-known story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. While I know this story, it really resonated with me that Sunday; and since then, I've been telling myself that I want to have faith like the 3 Hebrew boys. Here is (to me) the best part of the story:

...and Nebuchadnezzar said to them, "Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the image of gold I have set up? Now when you hear the sound of the horn, flute, zither, lyre, harp, pipes and all kinds of music, if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace. Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?" Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to the king, "O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if he does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."

How awesome is that, to not only refuse to worship these idols, but to say in the face of danger that EVEN IF God does not rescue me, I STILL won't worship you? Man...I am striving to say that to my circumstances. Yes, I do believe that God will bring me out, but EVEN IF HE DOES NOT, I still won't waver in my faith and worship to him. That is so amazing...

Even as I say all of this, I wonder why it's so hard for Christians to admit that there are times where we struggle with our faith. The other night while having dinner with some of the other ministerial staff members, I was talking about the students who were killed in Columbine after telling the shooters they believed in Jesus. I said that if they came to me in the same situation, I would LOVE to think that I would admit that I am most definitely a believer; however, I can't HONESTLY say that I would, especially with a gun in my face, knowing that you've just killed a few people moments before.

After I said that, they all looked at me like I was crazy and it was SILENT. I was irked because I felt like I had broken a cardinal commandment of "Thou shalt not admiteth thy struggles with faith". If you can't be honest with those in the body of Christ, who can you really be honest with?

And with that...I'm signing off. Wishing you God's love, peace, and blessings!

additional thoughts on how we express what we believe...

Favor Ain't Fair

2007-08-13T22:35:00.000-04:00

I've always heard people say "favor ain't fair" when talking about how God bestows his blessings. While I have always agreed, I would say that I haven't always felt that I have found favor with God. However, lately I have really been getting a better understanding of how true it is that favor isn't fair.

As I have grown and as I look back over the years, I can honestly say that I am SO grateful for the favor of God in my life. It's not anything that I can explain, but when I look at some people in my family; situations they've been through, obstacles they've had to overcome...it really amounts to the tremendous favor of God. There's not much that separates me from my family members. We grew up in the same area. Went to the same schools. Made some of the same bad decisions. Yet, I'm in Georgia, with a Master's degree; a job, making it in the world...with no kids or anything like that. And it's not to say anything negative about my family or other people, but I can definitely recognize the favor of God in my life.

I came to the conclusion that it must now be my responsibility to act on that- to uphold my end of the bargain with God. Favor isn't fair...but it's not free, either. As Luke 12:48 says, "... From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Wishing you the best of God's blessings and his favor! Be encouraged!

OUCH! The Feeling of Conviction...

2007-07-30T22:28:00.000-04:00

So, I have always maintained that being convicted is a good thing. To me, it lets me know where I can improve as a Christian, and it's a reminder of being in the will of God. Though life has been overwhelming me, I have realized that one of the challenges that I am facing is to STILL praise God and be in communion with God as I was BEFORE I received these recent blessings. Note Deuteromony 6:10-12:

"When the LORD your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the LORD, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery."

But, today's devotional was also an EXCELLENT reminder for me of the importance of being a bold, and living witness of the power of Christ in my life. The devotional was based of 2 Corinthians 2:15 which says,

"For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing."

Then, there was the following statement:

When I enter a room, do my words and deeds give testimony of a life changed by Christ or evidence of an inconsistent walk with God? Am I a pleasing fragrance to God? The spiritual influence we have on others is the fragrance that God senses. What impression of Christ do I leave with those I meet each day?

So yeah, I was convicted...cause I KNOW how I can be from day to day; even on my "good" days. But the real truth is that even on our "bad" days, every day is a good day to exhibit the love of Christ and his power in our lives.

Be encouraged all...

Life is a Beautiful Struggle?

2007-07-25T22:59:00.000-04:00

I wish I could say that's how I feel. Right now, I honestly don't feel that there's anything beautiful about this struggle. While I do still feel that I'm incredibly blessed (because I truly am), I am also feeling overwhelmed by life.

My spirit is tired. And in all honesty, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I need to clean house; get some things out of my closet. I want nothing and everything all at once. I don't want to change people or circumstances. I want to change me.

There's only been a few times in my life where I've felt like this. I'm expecting for there to be major life changes...because that's always been the result before. But unlike the times before, I feel that there's suddenly more required of me; there's more expected from me. I'm not sure if I'm qualified or if I'm even worthy.

To say that I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders would be a slight understatement. The desires of ministry feel so heavy and burdensome. And it seems that there's not a single person who understands.

I want to steal away, live irresponsibly, not worry about yesterday, today, tomorrow, or years from now. I want to be able to honestly feel like my real friends are indeed my real friends- who are free from passing judgement on the decisions I make and who love me enough to tell me the truth; who are helping to encourage me as I go along this journey; who aren't too busy to help, to call, or to visit.

This isn't a crisis...its a reality of how I feel. It may not make sense, but it doesn't have to. Feelings are rarely rational, and I'm not sure if these are. But it's how I feel.

Right now, I'm trying to keep my hope in Matthew 11:28-29. Be encouraged...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." ~Matthew 11:28-29

One Year Later...

2007-07-08T20:45:00.000-04:00

So, today marks one year since the death of my grandmother; and it was a very difficult day. It's amazing how vivid some memories are. This year has been full of many blessings, as well as many trials; and part of what has been difficult for me is being unable to call my grandmother and talk with her.

You never really realize and understand the true impact that someone has in your life until they are gone. I suppose this can be argued, and that some will dispute this. What I really mean is that I always appreciated having my grandmother in my life, but I didn't realize how much it affected me. This past year has shown me that.

The worst moments come when I truly acknowledge that there will be events in my life where her presence would be welcomed. Graduations. Marriages. Birth of children. Despite knowing that she'll be there in spirit, I still want to SEE her. Hug her. Talk to her. I'm sad that I missed out on so much with my grandmother because I was being a selfish, disagreeable child. But hindsight is 20/20.

The truth is that after a year, it seems more difficult at times. Some memories are much more vivid, some regrets are much more prominent. And still, some days I just want to be able to talk to her on the phone...

Incredibly Blessed

2007-07-01T08:30:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been feeling so incredibly blessed. Though I've been physically exhausted, I've been so in awe of the way that God works. For a few days, I've had up an away message on my IM that says:

"Every day I realize how blessed I am. At night, I pray over the possibilities. During the day, I watch God make it happen."

That's really how I've been feeling lately. It's amazing how there are so many things that you pray for and as you continue to pray and grow, you watch how God grants the things that you've asked for. Perhaps not at the time that you asked for it, not in the way that you asked for it. But it's better than you ever imagined. There are so many things that I had been asking God for, and now that I'm starting to see how God has been working those things out, I want more. I want more of God. More of His blessings. More of His heart. More of Him.

One of the more tangible ways that God has blessed me is with a new job. I just completed my first week at my new job, and I love it! While the commute is serious (I'm not used to having to leave at 7 and drive 40-45 minutes), the work is rewarding. I enjoy the people that I work with, and I feel like I have the opportunity to grow professionally, as well as make a difference in the field of education. Even with this job, it's amazing to see how God opened doors for me. My supervisor previously worked at UNC as an assistant director in the admissions office. Thus, when I applied and interviewed and my supervisor saw that I had worked with Project Uplift, Pre-O, and as a tour guide in the admissions office, he already knew what it was all about. He understood the caliber of the programs at UNC and their success.

Since I'm just beginning, we've been busy getting things together for SMART Sessions (our equivalent to CTOPS), and working at our mall kiosk. As our school is a BRAND NEW 4 year school, we're being fairly innovative in ways to reach people; and one of those is having a kiosk at the mall. You gotta love being on salary, and getting to sit at the mall and read/people watch. It's great.

Also, in other news...my fellow church members obviously forgot that I'm crazy! They have elected me to the trustee board. This is about to be some good stuff...but in all seriousness, I believe God placed me there for a reason (even if I am the only person under 40...maybe even 45 on the board). I look forward to seeing what God has in store.

That's all for now! Wishing you God's best, His peace, and His blessings!

"Just want to praise you forever and ever and ever/For all you've done for me/Blessings and honor and glory/They all belong to you/Thank you Jesus for blessing me."

"Lord your love for me gives me everything I need
And it keeps me--- Wanting more of
You are my delight and with you I'm satisfied
Your love keeps me--- Wanting more of You."

"A man’s gift makes room for him, and brings him before great men."
~Proverbs 18:16

If You Can't Afford It...

2007-06-19T16:00:00.000-04:00

I'm sure this isn't a phenomenon exclusively to the Atlanta area. Now there are rent-to-own shops for RIMS for your car. Don't worry if you can't afford those 22's. Now you can just pay a little bit each week to floss like you're the boss...

You can check out this article from the AJC. But no worries, I've included an small part here:

Can't afford to lay out $2,500 for four wheels worth of shine? No credit? No problem. You can rent them, and eventually own them, sometimes for double the cash purchase price.

Ego is fueling the buying spree, said Larry Sutton, the president of Rent-n-Roll, a 60-store chain that claims to be the biggest of its kind. "We want to feel good about the way we look: 'I don't want to wait for that. I don't want to save for that. I just want it.'

Damn that instant gratification! Look where it's leading us now...

A Few Articles Worth Reading...

2007-06-19T10:48:00.000-04:00

As I said in my last post- even though I haven't been writing, I have been keeping up with other people's blogs. And I'm always checking out the news. Here are some articles you should check out:

1. Daughter on her own, but still needs dad

This article is written by Nat Irvin, the fabulous father of Jovian Irvin, who many of you all know and love. I read his articles every week, because they always provide some sort of fatherly insight; and I feel more educated when I finish. I thought about including an excerpt from this article...but it's so touching, that no excerpt would do it justice. You'll have to read the whole thing yourself. Kudos to Papa Irvin and other men out there for being excellent fathers and for standing in the gap and being mentors and father figures for others. We appreciate you.

2. Students and Faith

I read this article last week on InsideHigherEd.com, which is a great site that keeps me aware of some of the happenings in higher education. I've often wondered how college affects the faith of students. There are tons of books out now about maintaining your faith in a collegiate environment such as "How to Stay Christian in College", "University of Destruction: Your Game Plan for Spiritual Victory on Campus", and"Survival Guide for Christians: How to be students and disciples at the same time". And we all know there can be challenges to your faith in the collegiate environment. Shoot, there are challenges to your faith in every environment. But that's another story for another time. Here's a snippet of the article:

The more you pursue a higher education, the more likely you are to abandon your faith — at least that’s what conventional wisdom holds.

“Actually we’ve just been wrong about this for quite a while,” said Mark D. Regnerus, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and one of the authors of a new study that suggests students who attend and graduate from college are more likely than others to hold on to their faith.

It’s not that colleges necessarily encourage faith, he said, but for all the talk about how intellectuals are out to destroy students’ relationships to their religions and God, the main obstacles to such relationships have to do with maturing and how young people spend their time. “Some kids were bound to lose [their faith] anyway and they do,” Regnerus said. But the evidence suggests that college isn’t responsible.

I better stop with school now...or else I won't have any faith! But seriously, as someone who came to Christ ON MY OWN for the first time when I was in college, I don't know how I would have made it through the remainder of college or graduate school without my faith. Just my two cents...

3. 'Beautillions' a rite of passage for black males

I think I was slightly surprised to find this article on MSNBC.com, I guess because I was thinking beautillions were such a southern thing. I know in Durham, it was really big, along with cotillions and other debutante stuff. I wish I had the pics from my own little pageantry/cotillion experience to post up here. They are quite embarrassing and I'm sure they would bring you all lots of laughter.

Anyhow, what I love about this is that it really shows the other side of the black community where older black men are relating to the younger generation, and helping to provide them with tools to be successful. There are black men who are raising their kids, involved with their communities, and not being the stereotype.

However, I never knew that Phi Beta Sigma did a beautillion. For real. In all seriousness.

Where's Erin?

2007-06-18T15:34:00.000-04:00

So, I really haven't BEEN anywhere. I've actually been sitting behind a computer everyday, reading everyone elses blogs. I've made notes about things that I want to write about, but I've never motivated myself to actually write. I'm trying to do better.

What's new with me? In this short time, I've been enjoying the post-grad life. I recently got a job! YES! PRAISE GOD! I'll be working at Georgia Gwinnett College in Lawrenceville, GA as an Admissions Counselor/Recruiter. It should be fun. The faculty and staff there seem fabulous, and I'm working with a guy that reminds me A LOT of Archie Ervin. Should be good times. My start date is June 26. I'll keep you updated.

I've also been learning a lot about myself in the past weeks. There has been so much going on, so it's interesting to see how I've grown in the midst of that. One thing that I've realized, or have been reminded of, is how much I value time by myself. As much as I enjoy spending time with other people, I so value the solitude and the peace that comes with being by myself.

Another thing that I've realized is that I have a low tolerance for people who are inconsiderate and who hold grudges or are less inclined to forgive. This realization has led me to pray hard for people, but also for me to pray hard for myself, and how I react to them. I've learned that part of being a Christian and displaying the love of Christ is particularly important in how we react to people that we don't like or people who get on our nerves. And as for forgiveness- it's is a difficult thing. Something that can keep you up at night and eat away at your soul. My prayers for being forgiven and for forgiving others are consistent. And in all honesty, sometimes I don't want to forgive.

I'm about to start a journaling project, and it's going to be an interesting journey. I've never been one to journal...even as a teenager. I'm journaling in an attempt to get to know myself to better and to really come clean with what my weaknesses and my strengths are. To recognize where I have grown and where I need to grow. I pray that God will do something awesome with this project so that I can be used fully in the ministry that He has for me.

So...perhaps that's all for now. Peace and Blessings!

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish his work."
~John 4:34

Headline: YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME!

2007-05-30T15:27:00.000-04:00

As I'm doing a daily perusal of CNN.com, I make my way to the "Law" section of the webpage.

And I find this article.

And my jaw drops. Does it REALLY say "Smith baby daddy"?!? Insert shock here. Since when does slang make its way into a place such as CNN.com?

Does anyone else think this is ridiculous? Journalism folk, please weigh in...

Oh Really: White Students Drawn to Black Colleges

2007-05-30T13:18:00.001-04:00

I read this article this morning, and I'm not too sure what I think about it. I'll say the opening shocked me:

Michael Roberts has done more than study finance at historically black Benedict College. He’s played football for the college, joined a fraternity and proposed to his girlfriend.

Pretty typical, except that Roberts is one of the few whites who attend one of the nation’s traditionally black colleges.

It's as if one would expect that an experience at an HBCU wouldn't be "typical". This then leads us to ask questions such as "What does typical mean?" and "What is the typical college experience?"

But I'm digressing. Here's an excerpt from the article:

The first of what are now called historically black colleges and universities was Cheyney University in Pennsylvania, which was founded in 1837 so that blacks — barred from attending many traditional schools — could get advanced educations. Since then, more than 100 such institutions have been established in the U.S. and about 285,000 students attend the schools each year.

Lawsuits have forced many of the schools — about half of them are public — to diversify their student bodies, Baskerville said. In the 2005-06 school year, nearly 10 percent of their students were white, according to her association’s data.

Scholarships, new programs and recruitment have attracted dozens of whites to schools such as South Carolina State University, where they account for around 4 percent of the student body, said university spokeswoman Erica Prioleau. The school has a minority affairs office for white students, similar to those found for non-white students at traditionally white schools.

Part of me feels that this is fabulous for HBCUs, especially when there's the idea that they are less rigorous than a PWU/PWI (predominantly white university/predominantly white institution). I also think that it's a good experience for white students; however, I feel that the white students who would typically go to an HBCU are already comfortable with African Americans ANYWAY.

Yet and still, there's another part of me that is wondering why can't black people just have anything to themselves. And I find that even more interesting as a graduate of two PWUs. Many of my family members and some of my friends have gone to HBCUs, and they have let it be known that the experiences that I've had at UNC and UGA don't even come close to comparing to the times they've had at NC A&T, NCCU, and Howard (to name a few).

I wish I could track this and see how it develops over time...

Re-entering the Quarter Life Crisis

2007-05-28T15:39:00.000-04:00

Last year, I wrote about the Quarter-Life Crisis. This year, I think I'm in one. When we were discussing the Quarter-Life Crisis in the comments, Sherrell and Gene felt that it's because we (our generation) are accomplishing so much so fast. Now, I'm inclined to agree.

I'm 23 years old and I just graduated from graduate school with a masters degree. I feel proud of my accomplishment, but I also feel overwhelmed. What's the next step supposed to be? I have a few degrees, but not much tangible work experience. I know what my qualifications are, and I know that I will be able to do the work required at any job that I'm applying to (and there have been many), this lack of tangible experience is rough.

What I'm finding even more difficult to deal with is that I'm continuously aksed what I'll be doing next. I've always been a person who knew what the next step would be. And not just the next step, the SPECIFICS of the next step. I always had a plan. I'm guessing people expect me to have a plan now. For some reason, people haven't been satisfied when I've told them that I plan to get a job and work. They want to know where I'll be working and what I'll be doing. I 'm saying- when I know the specifics, you'll know the specifics. But until then, just chill...

The real world is most definitely real. And as I face the fact that in a little less than 2 months my expenses will definitely become MY expenses, as my parents relinquish their stake in paying my bills, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. Wait. Overwhelmed is me on a normal day. This isn't normal. Stressed out. On the verge of hyperventilating. Yeah, I'm somewhere in between overwhelmed and hyperventilating.

I've considered going back to school (I mean if you can't work, you may as well get another degree, right?!?), but that's not what my desire is *right now*. I'll eventually go back, but right now I want to work. Be a young professional. Shake up the world of education. It's gonna happen, but I wish it would happen soon. You can't rush fate. You can't rush God...but man, I wish I could...

Graduation Reflections and What I Wish I'd Known, Part 2

2007-05-15T11:12:00.000-04:00

Today marks two years since I sat in Kenan Stadium with some of my best friends and turned my tassel, becoming a graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Three days ago, I became a graduate again; this time from the University of Georgia where I earned my Masters degree in Social Science Education.

As I sat in Stegeman Coliseum, I became slightly overwhelmed. I had been feeling the pressure of graduating for a while. Perhaps, moreso the anxiety, as my family and friends would question me about where I was going to work and live post May 12. However, as I sat there, partially in disbelief that this was really happening to me, I also felt a wave of emotion. Being so completely grateful to God for such an enormous blessing, feeling pride in knowing how proud my grandmother would be if she could have been ther, feeling extremely blessed to be surrounded by so many people that have loved and supported me unconditionally over the years. This was all compounded by the graduation address of Ms. Mary Frances Early, the first African-American to graduate from the University of Georgia in 1962 with her Masters degree in Music Education. She gave a brief, but meaningful expression of her time at UGA; which was most definitely the icing on the cake.

This weekend was beautiful to me, not because of my accomplishment (which I am very proud of), but because it was yet another way that I was reminded of all the ways that God cares for us and blesses us. While I am generally aware of God's blessings and handiwork in even the smallest of situations, I felt that I experienced a small dose of the magnitude of love that God has for me via friends and family. So amazing...

This weekend is also significant because many of my dear friends turned their tassels this weekend, as a part of UNC's Class of 2007. I'm so excited for them as they venture into the world to make their dreams come true. Last year I wrote a list of "What I'd Wish I'd Known Before I'd Graduated", and now I'll do a part two. Enjoy:

What I'd Wish I'd Known Before I'd Graduated, Part Two:

1. You Must Live for Yourself

Part of the experience of being in college is learning what you like and what you don't like. This can include a wide range of things- people/personality traits that you like/don't like, foods, movie genres, book genres, churches, etc. There are so many things going on in college that you get to explore, that is natural for extracurriculars to be a second and third major. And that's how it should be. However, we spend a lot of time in college still being stifled by the dreams that our parents have for us. While it's natural to want to please our parents (birth, adoptive, surrogate, or whatever), we are only given one life to live- and we must live that life for ourselves. Life gives us too much to enjoy to spend time trying to live someone else's dreams. Live for yourself. It might cause stress with your parents, but you'll sleep better at night because you're happy that you followed your own dreams and the path crafted for you.

2. You MIGHT NOT have a Job right away...and your dream job could be further (or closer) than you think...

One of the joys of college is that it builds you up. You're consistently told that your class was the first class to do this, the most talented class since 1864, etc. And you know some pretty fabulous people within your class. People who are doers, who make things happen; people that you would definitely vote "most likely to succeed" or "most likely to change the world". Hey, you may have been one of those people, yourself. But, as I'm learning now that dream job may not fall into place right after graduation. You might have to take another path than the one you had previously planned. You might have to take a job where you are overqualified and underpaid, to make sure that your bills are paid. No worries- at the right time, the right job will fall into place. Don't let others force you into a job that's not right for you because it's available. When the right job comes, you'll know it.

3. There's Much to be Enjoyed in the Simple Things

In college, experiences flow freely. There are always people up for wild road trips and lavish spring breaks. When I think of the amount of money I wasted on some ridiculous things that I "needed", I cringe. The post-graduate life (after all the graduation money is gone) may not be as lucrative. There are no refund checks coming every semester, so funds must be budgeted and spent wisely. Luckily, most places have a variety of cultural opportunities that are minimal in cost. Check out the local botanical gardens. Explore jazz evenings at a restaurant. Go hang out at Borders and Barnes and Noble. It doesn't have to be elaborate to be enjoyed.

4. Your Destiny is MOST LIKELY not Where You Think It Is

Throughout college, I had ideas of where I would be post-grad, what I'd be doing and how I'd be on my way to being a superstar. None of those ideas involved me moving to another state and venturing out on my own for graduate school. I was quite comfortable with my life where it was. However, what I learned was that you have to go get your destiny. You have to desire it. You have to chase after it. It's not going to meet you at Starbucks. And while your destiny probably isn't where you think it is, there is much to be learned while you're out trying to find it. Such is the beauty of life.

Well, that's all I've got for now. I'm excited for the Class of 2007. You all are going to be great leaders and changers of the world, much like those who have come before you. And as I said in the initial "What I Wish I'd Known" post, you're prepared for everything you're about to encounter. It may be difficult, but just press on a little while longer. I'm praying for you. Be encouraged!

Readers, what other things did you wish you knew before you graduated from college?

Dang OJ...So It's Like That...

2007-05-09T14:46:00.000-04:00

I don't know how I feel about this. Y'all help me out here...

According to this article from CNN.com, a steakhouse in Kentucky refused to serve O.J. Simpson. Article excerpt:

The owner of an upscale steakhouse said he asked O.J. Simpson to leave his restaurant the night before the Kentucky Derby because he is sickened by the attention Simpson still attracts.

"I didn't want to serve him because of my convictions of what he's done to those families," Jeff Ruby said in a telephone interview Tuesday.

"The way he continues to torture the lives of those families ... with his behavior, attitude and conduct," he added.

Hmmm...post your comments, I wanna know what you think.

Being Race-Blind

2007-05-09T11:26:00.000-04:00

According to MSNBC.com, the University of California system has reached a milestone by declaring that it is now "race-blind" in the admissions process.

After reading this article, I'm not too pleased. Here's an excerpt:

The debate over affirmative action begins with how you define affirmative action.

To Connerly, it's a system of "racial preferences" that drive a wedge between people. To his opponents, it's a way to recognize that not everyone starts with the same advantages.

The debate came to UC in 1995 when, in a bitterly contested 14-10 vote, the system's governing Board of Regents voted to stop looking at applicants' race, effective for graduate students in 1997 and for undergrads the following year.

In 1996, Connerly took the movement statewide with Proposition 209, which banned consideration of race in public hiring, contracting and education.

I suppose that whenever arguments like this come up, I get a tad bit frustrated because I feel that race DOES matter. It determines, in some senses, what your experiences in the world are, how your perspectives are shaped and maintained. I don't want people to blind to my race. I want you to see it. We don't need to be race-blind. We need to be race-tolerant. We need to be at a point where we accept people and love them for their differences, and in order to do that, we need not attempt to be blind to them.

What do y'all think?

Graduate School- Complete

2007-04-27T08:15:00.000-04:00

Well, it has truly been a long and arduous journey...but I have completed graduate school. At least in the class sense. Yesterday at 7:01 pm, I drove away from Aderhold Hall (UGA's College of Education) where I have spent countless hours doing numerous projects and group assignments, after my last class session.

Oh, how good it feels to be finished!

Well, I'm not completely done. I still have work to turn in, and finals to complete. However, it's a good feeling to know that I won't be taking classes again for a while.

I'm sure that some of you are wondering what I'll be up to post-graduation. And, for the most part, I'm not too sure. I will be staying in Athens, looking for work; and beginning to carve out my place in the world. I most likely will NOT be teaching, not because I don't want to, but because I know that God is leading me elsewhere. That, however, is another story for another time.

Anyhow, as I finish up with these last assignments and finals, I might be around more often. Back to the blogging world. Back to my regularly scheduled life, already in progress.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement! Peace and Blessings!

Soliciting Prayers...

2007-04-04T14:28:00.000-04:00

Graduation is coming...but before I get there, I have to do the following:

3 book reviews (due before April 26)
3 final papers (due April 24, 26, and 27)
2 final projects (due April 24 and 26)
2 final exams (May 3)
1 comprehensive exam (April 14)

I'm probably forgetting something, but we'll see. I'll try to keep you updated on my progress. You just keep me in your prayers.

Shirley Franklin speaks at UGA

2007-04-04T13:49:00.000-04:00

Mayor Franklin speaks at annual Holmes-Hunter lecture

If you didn't know, I love Shirley Franklin. She's classy and sassy, and runs a tight ship as mayor of the City of Atlanta. So, of course I was excited when I found out that she was going to be the speaker at the annual Holmes-Hunter lecture which celebrates Charlayne Hunter and Hamilton Holmes, the first African American students to enroll at UGA.

However, my excitement was short lived when...I realized that I couldn't attend the lecture because I had class. In all honesty, I was expecting my history professor to cancel class (seriously, it's a class that studies the historical survey of African-American political thought). But, she didn't...so I sat in class wondering what Shirley Franklin talked about, while making cynical observations about the leadership style of Marcus Garvey (which is another discussion for another time).

Nevertheless, while I consistently and confidently believe that UGA has a ways to go in its attempt to be a truly inclusive community, I will say that they have done a phenomenal job with programming this year. Andrew Young has come, Shirley Franklin has come, and Elaine Brown is coming. Pretty impressive...and hopefully, they'll keep up the good work.

In case you didn't know...

2007-03-19T21:29:00.000-04:00

...black people participate in recreational activities other than sports. This article on MSNBC.com spotlights black chess players in the Maryland-DC Metro Area.

Excerpt from the article:

"Chess defines us in ways other than the way we are often defined in newspapers and on television with the negative images... it [chess] knocks the stereotypes and shows that we are intellectual, cerebral people and that we are interested in something other than basketball."

I love it. And I've been waiting for somebody to teach me how to play chess for years...

this MUST be a joke...

2007-03-17T15:14:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I know that Georgia isn't the most progressive state; however, there are some things going on here that I find to be RIDICULOUS.

According to this article on MSNBC.com, some Georgia lawmakers signed off on a plan to create a Confederate Heritage Month. Under this plan, the month of April would be designated as Confederate History and Heritage Month in an attempt to honor the memory of the Confederacy as well as "all those millions of its citizens of various races and ethnic groups and religions who contributed in sundry and myriad ways to the cause of Southern Independence."

Oh really? The cause of Southern Independence? Sounds like a ridiculous amount of BS to me. Especially when you think about how Georgia lawmakers didn't seem to excited or willing to issue an apology for slavery.

Here's a nice editorial about the situation, one that definitely sums up my feelings about it...courtesy of the AJC.

...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

2007-03-15T17:43:00.000-04:00

this post is inspired by a note that kiersten mitchell wrote, and posted on her facebook. i've been realizing lately that i don't really get angry, so much as i get annoyed. and here are some of the top things that annoy the $#!^ out of me

1. if you are ALWAYS complaining about a situation, but never work to change it...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

2. if you are ALWAYS proclaming how you are a grown man/grown woman, but repeatedly handle situations like a child (and wonder why you get those results)...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

3. if you are a pedestrian and you INSIST upon crossing the street at the WRONG time, and then have the AUDACITY to look at me wrong when i almost pummel your behind with the honda...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

4. if you consistently approach me with your issues and your problems without even so much as ASKING how i'm doing at all...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

5. if you always feel the need to call somebody on their issues, but don't want anybody to mention your own...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

6. if you apologize for an action, then try to explain away said action...you just annoyed the $#!^ out of me!

this list is to be continued...but in the mean time, what annoys the $#!^ out of you?

Finally! Spring Break

2007-03-10T16:37:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks have been rough for me here in Athens, but I've finally made it to Spring Break. It's weird because this will be my last Spring Break...at least as a student...for a while. I should be out somewhere drinking myself stupid and tanning myself until I get malignant melanoma...BUT...I'll be in Athens, working away.

So, what am I really up to these days? The short answer is trying to stay afloat. More specifically, that means: fulfilling requirements for graduation (tests, papers, etc), applying for jobs for next year, trying to work hard and save money for that transitional phase of life, and trying to enjoy the last bit of time that I'll be in school for a while.

Life has been hard. It's really been kicking my behind. I've been feeling kind of the way I felt right before I graduated from UNC. I know that I believe, but I'm not really sure why. It's some sort of weird and inadequate, yet consistent faith. I'm not even sure if that makes sense, but it does in my mind...

I'm particularly grateful for people who have been helping me stay afloat. The encouragement, the love, and the prayers have been much needed and much more appreciated. I really think I have the best friends in the world and I'm grateful that God has blessed me with them.

So, here's to making the last 62 days at UGA count, getting the job that God has for me, and being encouraged in the entire process...

Peace and Blessings!

Signed: King Savior, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Servant

2007-03-01T21:36:00.000-05:00

Man Tries to Cash $50,000 Check from God

Now, I truly believe that God can do all things. But I don't think I would try to pull this off...

UNC Cites Progress for Black Faculty

2007-02-28T15:56:00.000-05:00

Progress for Black Faculty

The Daily Tar Heel did a good job with the above article. However, what becomes more disturbing, and hints at the racism that is still prevalent in our society, are the comments that people have posted online.

One of the notions discussed is that of being a society that is colorblind; a society where we don't examine race, and it doesn't matter because we're all being judged by our merits. While I would love to live in a society where race doesn't matter, I am also very aware of how my race has shaped me. And in all honesty, people being colorblind to that can lead to much insensitivity. I've experienced the "colorblind phenomenon", as I'll call it, when people of other races have said "I don't even think of you as black. You're just like me."

Well, while that's a nice thought- I'm NOT like you, and it's offensive to me for that to be said. When someone exercises this "colorblind phenomenon" towards specific blacks (or people of other races), what they really mean is that you're not part of the stereotype that I had of this group. And since you're not part of this stereotype, I'm not going to think of you as being a part of that group.

Now, since we all know that races are monolithic (note the sarcasm), and that people were lying when they said there's more variation within races than between them, OF COURSE, I can't possibly be black if I: can't dance, can't sing, don't wear 'urban clothes', am 'articulate', etc. etc...

Sometimes I wish we'd give more thought to the things we say, noting what's implied by our comments. I believe that the idea of being colorblind should really be replaced with the notion of having heightened sensitivity to our cultural differences. I am proud to be black, and I don't want my 'blackness' stripped away (of course, it never can be) in this quest for 'colorblindness'. I just feel that if we are sensitive to our words, thoughts, and actions; 'colorblindness' won't be necessary.

To Free, or Not to Free? That is the Question

2007-02-26T13:37:00.000-05:00

Ronda talks about the case with Genarlow Wilson on her blog, and now the AJC has decided to let readers discuss the situation.

If you're not familiar with the Genarlow Wilson case, here are the basics:

As a 17 year old, he had consensual oral sex with a 15 year old girl. He was convicted of aggravated child molestation charges, and received a sentence of 10 years in prison.

You can read what the AJC readers have to say here.

Click here read more about the Genarlow Wilson case.

Hearing Andrew Young

2007-02-26T09:23:00.000-05:00

Former mayor opens awards - News

This weekend, I had the pleasure of attending the UGA Campus Chapter of NAACP's Inaugural Image Awards, and I must say that it was fabulous.

Unlike UNC, UGA students don't have as many formals or balls- so they relish opportunities to dress up. People definitely came with their "A" game, and as always, you're surprised to see how well some people can clean up.

Anyhow, the spirit of the night was incredible, and for once, I felt that black students at UGA were on one accord in reference to the issues that we face daily on this campus and in the community.

For me, the highlight of the night was hearing former Atlanta mayor Andrew Young give the address. His message was incredibly inspirational, and it left me wondering why he doesn't go back to being a preacher. And when he announced that he now listens to books on his Ipod, in addition to music; I decided I still have a long way to go on my journey of being truly educated and inspiring to others.

Young said that he believes that our struggle is to now integrate the corporate aspect of America; to integrate the money. He reminded us all that the challenges we face are because we are children of God, involved in the essential struggle of good versus evil.

It was truly an awesome message, from an equally awesome person whom I admire. And it helped to re-focus my attention on the things that matter. I feel rejuvenated, and ready to face the future. Gotta love that.

I'm Tired of This

2007-02-23T11:44:00.000-05:00

And what is it that I'm tired of: all this talk about standardized testing and schools.

I just finished reading this article on CNN.com which was discussing how students are making better grades, but they can't get past the tests. And since the tests are what matter, as opposed to what students actually KNOW...then, I suppose that is a problem.

I'm about to enter into the workforce with all this talk about testing, standards, No Child Left Behind, etc. While I honestly believe that the testing can be used in a positive way, I don't feel like it is right now. Currently, teachers are under pressure to make sure that their kids can get past the tests. Does that mean they might be slacking off in other areas? Perhaps. And maybe that can explain the increase in grades.

At any rate, I'd like to see more emphasis placed on the State Standards for Education. Perhaps by providing clearer standards for what students should know and be able to do, we'll have students who can make good grades AND pass the tests. Additionally, it helps teachers have a clearer idea of what they should be teaching. While I'm all for having freedom to explore subjects on my own in the classroom, I would appreciate a clear set of guidelines and/or standards at least for the basics.

I'm scared that this testing crap is going to push the state of public education to an even lower point than it is at now. If people thought there was an education crisis in the 1950s and 1960s, just wait and see what will happen if we continue at this rate. It's time for some change.

Again, I'm Proud of UNC

2007-02-13T10:26:00.000-05:00

Dorm name honors slave - University

UNC has been conscious of its history as a white institution in the South, and what that may mean for people of color. And, UNC has made strides in promoting all aspects of its history. The renaming of Hinton James North Residence Hall after George Moses Horton is yet another step in the right direction.

On February 7, I could say that I was proud of my alma mater because we beat Duke. Today I can say that I'm proud for a different reason.

This is How it's Spread: Gum and Sexually Transmitted Diseases

2007-02-10T21:31:00.000-05:00

Would you take turn chewing the same piece of gum with your coworkers, classmates, or even your family members? Probably not. According to this article in the Washington Post, students at a Montgomery County high school were asked to take turns chewing the same piece of gum as a simulation of how sexually transmitted diseases were spread.

An excerpt:

To demonstrate how sexually transmitted diseases are spread, a visiting speaker invited students to share gum in health classes at four county high schools in December and last month. School officials said a total of about 100 students participated in the lessons, although some declined to chew the gum...

"It was fine for me, because my best friend and me did it first," said Julia Bellefleur, 15, a Damascus High School sophomore who participated in the exercise. "But it was kind of gross for everyone else. I was just glad I did it first."

So it seems to be a somewhat meaningful exercise. And it helps to get the point across. But is the exercise going too far to teach kids a lesson?

Church honors late reverend

2007-02-09T07:59:00.000-05:00

Church honors late reverend - City

This article, courtesy of The Daily Tar Heel, discusses how The Chapel of the Cross honored Dr. Pauli Murray.

An excerpt:

A special service at the Chapel of the Cross on Thursday commemorated the 30th anniversary of the day the Rev. Dr. Pauli Murray became the first black woman to perform a Eucharist as an Episcopal priest.

The service was delivered by a woman who reached another milestone - Presiding Bishop Katharine Jefferts Schori, the first woman to head an American church...

"As we stand here today, we can say with utter confidence that her life and ministry have brought others to greater awareness, healing, and yes, even friendship, than would have been possible without her strong witness," Jefferts Schori said.

She also noted her debt to Murray. "I know I stand here today only because she stood here before me. Her proud shoes have carried many others down the road to freedom."

What's Most Important

2007-01-31T13:29:00.000-05:00

"a lot of times, it's difficult for me to see how i've grown because there are times where i don't feel as if i've made many changes. but sometimes, being around others allows you to see the changes in your mentality and your position...and it gives you a different perspective on what it means to grow and change. i'm not where i ought to be...but i'm grateful that i'm not where i used to be."
~erin davis, 06.28.05

"our greatest danger in life is permitting urgent things to crowd out the important; to fail to live by a clear set of priorities. everybody is living for something. the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."

Recently (using this term loosely) I have neglected what is most important. I have allowed myself to adjust my priorities; to allow urgent things to crowd out the things that are most important. And so, it's time to come clean about that...

I have engaged in fruitless relationships in hopes of bearing fruit. I have ignored the nudging of God or the tugging at my heart that indicates when to let go and/or move on. I have placed people in places of importance in my life when they in fact warrant no place at all.

I have used people and things to fill voids that I should be asking God to fill. I have become so obsessed with doing things and fulfilling obligations that I have ignored my relationship with God. I have become more focused with my future instead of nurturing the relationship with the one who has orchestrated my future.

I am coming clean, at least on this space, because I believe that the people who read this believe in the power of prayer and that they will hopefully be praying for me. Additionally, I believe that it's important to divulge our shortcomings so that they can possibly help others.

So, that's what's up with me. Keep me in your prayers. Be encouraged...

"That relationship died, for you to be born, you worth more than anything you could cop in a store, for you to grow he had to go, so what you stoppin him for?"
~Common

Torn and confused, wasted and used;
Reached the crossroad, which path would I choose?
Stuck and frustrated, I waited, debated;
For something to happen that just wasn't fated.
Thought what I wanted was something I needed...
My soul was weary, but now it's replenished;
Content because that part of my life is finished...
But my heart is gold, I took back my soul
And totally let my creator control
The life which was his to begin with...
~Lauryn Hill

Professor removed for gender

2007-01-27T09:37:00.000-05:00

A professor at Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, TX was removed from her position because of her gender. This is the latest source of division within the Southern Baptist Convention.

An official from the school said, "With regard to the tightening of the policy of women teaching in the School of Theology, there has been no change in policy, but rather a return to the way it has always been. There was a momentary lax of the parameters, and (the seminary) has now returned to its traditional, confessional, and biblical position."

Hmmm...interesting. Check out the article and then tell me what you think...

News Bites...

2007-01-26T08:20:00.000-05:00

One of the main reasons that I love the weekend is because I can catch up on local/national news. Here are some things that caught my attention:

1. Students at Tarleton State University throw an MLK Party

Basically, this article says it all. But the short of it, students at the school in Stephenville, Texas threw a party where people perpetuated black stereotypes; dressing in afro wigs, wearing fake gold and silver teeth, and even dressing as Aunt Jemima- with a gun

This is definitely making me reconsider that potential job opportunity in Texas.

2. Does Obama appeal to Blacks?

Quotables from this article:

"You can be elected president as a black person only if you signal at some level that you are independent from black people...He is going to have to figure out whether there is a way not to alienate and anger a black base that almost by definition is going to be disappointed."
~Melissa V. Harris-Lacewell, Princeton University

"He faces some real challenges. First, there will be intense competition for black votes. The other reason is that most black people met him two years ago on television from Boston."
~Jesse Jackson

3. Same-sex classrooms on the rise

I've written about this before; but I guess it's really taking flight. This article talks about the rise of same-sex schools in Wisconsin. I'm such a proponent of this- I think it cuts back on the number of distractions in a classroom and allows students to focus more on their achievement in class as opposed to their success with the opposite sex.

Oh...and this article is the exact reason why I don't want my sisters getting a license until they're 21. In addition to the fact that I don't think they're mature enough for a license...

Dangit UNC!

2007-01-25T20:08:00.000-05:00

The Admissions Office at my beloved alma mater, UNC, made the mistake of sending an email congratulating 2,700 applicants on their admission. The only problem is that they haven't been admitted- yet.

The email was intended to request mid-year grades; however, there was some confusion and the wrong email was sent. They've now sent emails acknowledging their mistake.

Dang, it must suck to have been on that emotional rollercoaster.

Check out this article.

Potential County Split...hmmm....

2007-01-24T12:18:00.000-05:00

There are several reasons for the proposed split. It could be financial. It could be to have a more responsive local government. It could be racial...

Here's an excerpt from this article:

"A potentially explosive dispute in the City Too Busy to Hate is taking shape over a proposal to break Fulton County in two and split off Atlanta’s predominantly white, affluent suburbs to the north from some of the metropolitan area’s poorest, black neighborhoods.

Legislation that would allow the suburbs to form their own county, to be called Milton County, was introduced by members of the Georgia Legislature’s Republican majority earlier this month.

Supporters say it is a quest for more responsive government in a county with a population greater than that of six states. Opponents say the measure is racially motivated and will pit white against black, rich against poor."

Your thoughts?

How much is too much?

2007-01-21T18:59:00.000-05:00

Is $28,000 per month for child support too much?

Random Thoughts

2007-01-21T16:28:00.000-05:00

I'm in a good mood. Actually, I'm in a great mood. I feel as if I'm saying this as if it's not normal, but I'm really feeling great. Despite feeling a little physically tired, I feel great spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically. There is definite positivity on the UGA front.

Classes have gotten underway completely (you know, now it's time for assignments to be due and stuff), and I realized that what they have been saying all along is true- 15 hours for a graduate student is A LOT. They actually don't like for graduate students to take more than 9 hours, but I have a vested interest in graduating on May 12, 2007...so I'm gonna make it do what it do. I feel that I've been reading SO much more than I have in such a long time. And I'm proud of myself for staying on top of my reading. However, I won't make promises for the rest of the semester. As we get further and further along, some things might change.

As always, I am completely in awe of God and how He continues to bless me and those around me. I am so grateful for all that He has done and continues to do.

Hope you're all doing well! Be encouraged!

A UGA Prof on how we're taught about MLK

2007-01-18T08:03:00.000-05:00

Something worth considering from UGA Professor Derrick Aldridge:

In this study, I argue that American history textbooks present discrete, heroic, one-dimensional, and neatly packaged master narratives that deny students a complex, realistic, and rich understanding of people and events in American history. In making this argument, I examine the master narratives of Martin Luther King, Jr., in high school history textbooks and show how textbooks present prescribed, oversimplified, and uncontroversial narratives of King that obscure important elements in King's life and thought. Such master narratives, I contend, permeate most history textbooks and deny students critical lenses through which to examine, analyze, and interpret social issues today. The article concludes with suggestions about how teachers might begin to address the current problem of master narratives and offer alternative approaches to presenting U.S. history.

You can read the study here

What are we teaching about King's Dream?

2007-01-15T10:44:00.001-05:00

How much do we really know about Dr. King? Outside of knowing that he had a dream, what do we know? We know that he married Coretta, that he was assassinated in Memphis, and then what?

This article from the Washington Post says that a lot of students are unaware of Dr. King's dream. I find that interesting because Martin Luther King is one of the premier subjects if/when black history is covered in social studies classes. Part of the argument is that curriculums are so rigid that there isn't enough time to cover something that won't be covered on their standardized tests.

Here's an excerpt from the article:

"In a recent survey of college students on U.S. civic literacy, more than 81 percent knew that the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was expressing hope for "racial justice and brotherhood" in his historic "I Have a Dream" speech.

That's the good news.

Most of the rest surveyed thought King was advocating the abolition of slavery...

In many schools across the country, teachers say social studies has taken a back seat under the federal No Child Left Behind law, which stresses math and reading. Squeezing history into the curriculum can be difficult, educators say, and taking time out of a scheduled lesson to use a federal holiday -- even King's -- as a teaching moment can be tough."

Any insights? What did you learn about Dr. King in school?

An Interesting Article on Dreamgirls

2007-01-12T21:14:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted on Dreamgirls because I have yet to see it. Yes, I know I'm wack. BUT, when you consider that it JUST opened in Athens TODAY, I don't feel too bad. I go to Atlanta for a lot of things, but just to see a movie? Nah, homie.

Anyhow, check out this article which discusses how Dreamgirls might be getting set up for the okie doke when it comes to getting an Oscar. No movie with a mostly black cast has won an Academy Award, and there have definitely been some good ones. But here's what's worth quoting from this article:

"No film with a predominantly African American cast has ever won best picture.

Is it time that one did? For sure. But Dreamgirls with all its star power and glam probably won’t do in 2007 what “The Color Purple” and “Malcolm X” (which wasn’t nominated) should have done in 1986 and 1993 respectively — and that is win. And while “Ray,” which was nominated in 2005, was both a critical and financial success, it was no “Million Dollar Baby.”

The critics who have praised “Dreamgirls” will likely claim that an Academy that recently honored Halle Berry, Denzel Washington and Jamie Foxx with golden boys for best actress/actor, is not ready to embrace a film detailing the struggles African Americans face when they fail to assimilate to the dominant culture. That would be like admitting that “Crash,” last year’s best-picture winner, was truly an accurate portrayal of life in America.

We can’t have art imitating real life and winning awards for it!

The collective victories of Berry, Washington, Foxx and others have opened the door a little wider for African Americans in the film industry, but it still remains only ajar. It’s often said by black and white actors alike that the only color studio heads ever see is green. Well, American currency is green and white."

So...I'd love to hear what you think. Especially if you've seen the movie. I keep hearing about THE SCENE. AND I AM TELLING YOU...don't worry, I'm going to see it this weekend!

The Academic Starting Lineup: Spring '07

2007-01-12T18:14:00.000-05:00

I've just completed my first week of my LAST semester, and here's the class line up for the semester:

1. HIST 6070: Jeffersonian and Jacksonian America

This class chronicles early US History, from the era of Jefferson through Jackson. I'm taking the class as one of my social studies content requirements, but also because I figure that if I want to be a US History teacher, I should probably sharpen up on this time period. This class is taught by a professor who's from up north (dang Yankees), and he's very matter of fact, and pressed about things such as being on time and attendance (I mean, who cares about these things in college). He even said that he would drop you from the class for not coming. I guess he's trying to prepare the undergrads in the class for the "real world". Anyhow, what sort of discourages me about this class is that there is no real textbook- we're reading a lot of primary documents. While that's good, I was hoping to get something very concrete that I can use later on. Anyhow, this class seems to be promising...even if I am the ONLY black student in the class.

2. JRMC 8070: Media Culture and Diversity

This is my "fun" class for the semester. The professor and I teach Sunday School together at church, and his class was recommended to me by several people. I'm interested in this class because media is such an important part of our society, and it's important to know the implications that it has for diverse populations. Perks of this class are that it's a small seminar (held in this plush boardroom with cushy seats that have wheels), there's no textbook, and we get to watch A LOT of movies. The class examines media from the cultural studies perspective, as opposed to the social scientific method, which should also be interesting. It's safe to say that I'm excited about this class.

3. HIST 6055: Historical Survey of African American Thought

The best way to describe this class would be to say that it's somewhere between a historical and philosophical examination of African American thought. We're examining the thoughts of people such as Angela Davis, Cornel West, Frederick Douglass, and Anna Julia Cooper; just to name a few. This reading also is mostly primary documents, or work that is in some way autobiographical. What makes me nervous about this class is that I'm the ONLY grad student enrolled. However, the professor is TIGHT; and her husband (also a professor at UGA) goes to my church. Hmmm...I'm noticing a theme in how I pick my classes...

4. ESOC 6150: Teaching US History

The title of this class pretty much explains what it's about. And I'm always suspicious of classes that attempt to teach you how to teach (just imagine the feelings that I have about being in a teacher education program). Anyhow, I'm in this class because I feel that it would offer good resources to a person like me, who wants to be a US History teacher. Even though I've never had him as a professor, I can say with confidence that my professor is a little on the absentminded side because he's my also academic advisor. He's a nice guy, though, and he means well. One thing I definitely DON'T like about this class is the insane amount of group work that we have. I really thought I had gotten past group projects. So much for that.

5. ESOC 7080: Curriculum Planning in Social Science Education

So I'm really only in this class because my program requires it. But, I figure that having curriculum planning is useful. I'm not gonna just wanna be a teacher forever. I'll have to move up the ladder, you know; become department head, and then well...whatever comes after that. At any rate, the most positive thing about this class is that 4 of the 6 books we need to have are available ONLINE for FREE. Otherwise, see the above notes about the professor and the group work.

So yeah...that's the class line up for the semester. All on Tuesdays and Thursdays...should be an interesting race to the finish line. Be encouraged!

Settling for "Good Enough"

2007-01-11T19:21:00.000-05:00

"If excellence is possible, then good is not enough."

I think that most people have seen or heard the above quote, usually related to our academic performance. However, I think the idea of seeking excellence over what is good enough can be applied to all areas of our life.

How many times do we limit ourselves to what's "good enough"? Perhaps we do it in our jobs, in school, in our relationships with friends and family. At any rate, at some point we decide that where we are is okay and that there's no real need to seek anything better. Things aren't bad, and we are comfortable where we are. We recognize that things could be better, but why rock the boat? Why press our luck?

I realized the other day that I had gotten to a point where I had started settling for "good enough". I wasn't demanding excellence from myself, and if I don't demand it from myself, how can I ever expect it from anyone else? In exploring how I had gotten to that point where I was okay with what was "good enough", I realized that it takes an incredible amount of discipline to not settle. It requires discipline to push yourself to that point where you require more, even when things are okay. It requires discipline to let go of people who

God wants what is excellent for us, not what's "good enough". So why do we settle? I have challenged myself to only accept what is excellent for me in 2007. Care to join me?

It's About That Time...

2007-01-07T16:23:00.000-05:00

Well, it's finally here. Spring Semester 2007. Tomorrow will officially mark the beginning of the end as I wind down my time at UGA- perhaps. I say perhaps because I've actually been dreading this semester in my own way for a few months.

As tomorrow shall come (it's probably already tomorrow in Australia, so it's definitely coming), I'll have to get serious about what I might do AFTER May 12, 2007. And I honestly have no idea what will come after this. I submitted an application for TFA this morning and started an application for graduate school this afternoon. I'll be registering to retake the Praxis II and the GACE in hopes that I can become a certified teacher. For the first time in my life, I don't know what will be next.

I feel slightly crippled in that I have no real work experience. Sure I've had jobs and extracurricular experience, but whenever I look at those job descriptions, I'm immediately discouraged. I feel the pressure looming over me. My parents are asking what I'm going to do. People who know that I'm graduating are asking what I'm going to do. The answer is still the same- I don't know.

So while I feel that I should be excited about completing yet another step on my journey, I'm not. Perhaps it'll change, but until it does, I'll be somewhere trying to discover what options I have.

Memories of a Loss

2007-01-06T21:06:00.000-05:00

The holidays were difficult this year. Not because of the crowds, or the traveling, or the lack of funds. They were difficult because this was the first year that I've spent any major holiday without a grandparent.

I skated my way through my grandmother's funeral planning. Met with the funeral directors and did all the things that you should do. I felt numb. There were so many things going on. Calls from family and friends. Reconnecting with family that I hadn't seen in a while. Getting things in order. I don't think that I truly realized that my grandmother had passed on until I watched them lower the casket into the ground.

I returned to Athens and tried to go on as "normal" as possible. But I couldn't because I was haunted with hypotheticals. What if I had gone home sooner? What if I had called earlier? What if I had prayed longer? There were several days (and this still happens now) where I would dial her number to talk to her, and realize that it wasn't possible anymore.

My grandmother loved Christmas. And I mean, LOVED it. She set up all of the little Christmas villages, complete with people and snow; she had special Christmas china that was used, and two Christmas trees so that people on both streets (her house was on the corner) could see her decorations. She always had Christmas candy corn and M&Ms available (even though she was a diabetic). I feel like she could bottle up the atmosphere in her house and sell it as the holiday spirit. However,this Christmas was different. I went home with Christmas with my family, and while it was wonderful, the trip to her house was empty. I was glad to see my father, but it wasn't what I was used to from the house, at least not at Christmas.

So this Christmas was different. And I'm not sure that I was completely ready to acknowledge how different it would be. It caught me completely off guard. It's only been a few months since she passed away, but I remember her like I spoke to her yesterday. I remember how she sounded when she answered the phone. What it sounded like when she laughed. Her funny bits of advice. And how she always was so excited about whatever I was doing.

I'm sure she's still excited about the things that I'm doing, but she's watching from a different angle. And I still get to talk to her, I just have to ask God to pass my messages on...

A Quick Reminder and some other stuff...

2007-01-04T12:18:00.000-05:00

Some things that I was reminded of today:

*People won't always remember what you said, they won't remember what they did, but they'll always remember how you made them feel.

*When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

*Don't mix seasonal people with lifetime expectations.

And now that that's out of the way...on to other things...

Former Morris Brown president Dolores Cross received her sentencing yesterday. Although she was guilty of embezzling over 3 million dollars from the university, she'll only pay around $14,000 in restitution and a $3,000 fine. She's been given a year of house arrest and 5 years of probation. I guess a year at home is enough to ensure that you don't steal from anyone else. You can read more about that here.

And am I the only one who wishes that they could go to the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy? Check out the article here and here.

So, I think that's all for now. The class forecast for what MAY be my FINAL semester will be here soon...

Happy oh-seven! Be encouraged!

'06- to the left, to the left

2007-01-01T10:30:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official. 2006 is over. I'm sure you know that already though. It's unreal to me that it's already 2007. I'm sure it'll take me a while to get used to it, as I continue to write 2006 on my class notes and my checks for a minute. Just when I was getting used to what year it was, it had to go and change.

So, in the spirit of Beyonce, I'm sending 2006 to the left. Not that I really had a choice, because it was going to be over anyway. But what I really mean is that I'm leaving what was in 2006 in 2006. I'm letting some things go. I'm opening myself up to new possibilities and new blessings that only come when you leave some things behind.

I brought in 2006 on an airplane, flying back to GA after spending a couple of weeks with my family in Arizona. As 2006 came in , my ipod, which I always keep on shuffle (the songs are so much better that way) played "Great is Thy Faithfulness". That song became my theme for the year. I encountered several trials during 2006, several losses, temptations, and challenges; but either directly before or directly after there was always something there to remind me that God was still faithful. Even in my greatest sense of despair, I was comforted by God showing me that he is still faithful and attentive to our needs; and still in control.

While 2006 was a great year in many ways, I'm excited about 2007. There are so many promises to be fulfilled, so many lessons to be learned, so many dreams to come true. I don't think it will be easy. I believe there will be several challenges. But I believe even more in the power of God to see me through any situation.

2007 is going to be awesome. What are you sending to the left from 2006? And what are you believing God for in 2007?

2006- one for the books

2006-12-26T22:23:00.000-05:00

As we say goodbye to 2006, let's look back and remember what happened...

You, in review:
*Age: 23
*Location: Athens, GA
*Work: UGA Center for Continuing Education
*School: University of Georgia

This year, have you:
*Fallen in love: I think so
*Fallen out of love: perhaps
*Had your heart broken: sure
*Cheated in love: don't think so
*Cheated in life: I sure hope not
*Cried: yeah man
*Laughed so hard you peed your pants: at least once a week
*Dumped somebody: no
*Lied to get ahead: no
*Gotten married: no
*Had a baby: no, but Fe did! yay for baby RJ!
*Adopted a pet: no, but I almost got a pet turtle
*Gotten a new job: can't say that I did
*Learned a new skill: I learned how to let people in

That’s life:
*What is the biggest lesson you learned this year: God is faithful in EVERY circumstance
*What was the hardest thing you did: accept the call
*What was your greatest accomplishment: accepting the call
*Most painful experience: the death of my grandmother
*Favorite memory: Spring Break in Orlando
*Greatest change in yourself: being able to be encouraged in every situation
*Something you’re proud of doing: trusting God enough...

People:
*What one person would you thank for what they’ve done for you this year: My grandmother
*Who did you learn to hate: I don't believe in hate
*Who did you learn to love: They know who they are
*Who taught you the best lesson: Everyone I encountered taught me a valuable lesson
*Who made your life most miserable this year: life will never be miserable- as long as i'm alive, it's GREAT
*Who gave up on you this year: I dont think anyone did
*Who believed in you: My family, the Whole, Fati, TJ, Crystal, Camille, Willie, Juelle, Superstar, Ty, Rell, Twilla, P-Dub, Fe, Lauryn, Nigel, Tristan, Jeshua, and many, many, more...

Favorites:
*Restaurant: Applebee's, Olive Garden, On the Border, Ruby Tuesday, Inokos
*Place to shop: NY and Company, MAC Counter, Gap, Target
*Drink: Water
*Food: Lasagna, Mac and Cheese
*Music: Fred Hammond, Kirk Franklin
*TV Show: Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Gilmore Girls, 7th Heaven,
*Hang out: anywhere with my girls or anywhere with P-Dub, Fe, and Lauryn

Resolution for next year: Stay positive, stay focused, stay faithful, stay encouraged...

2006-12-20T11:22:00.000-05:00

I've been in GA too long

I know that I've been in GA too long because this doesn't even bother me, and while I'm embarrassed to admit it, I LIKE IT. We're all entitled to our guilty pleasures...

Just hope I don't break this out at the Christmas party this weekend...

2006-12-14T10:03:00.000-05:00

wltx.com | Teacher makes controversial comments about race

An example of what's in America's classrooms today...

Further motivation for me to finish this degree and get into the classroom and get to work.

The Power of Being Alone

2006-12-10T18:35:00.000-05:00

The other day I realized that since I've graduated, a good number of people I know have gotten married or engaged. The marriage bug is in the air, and I believe it's quite contagious. It's exciting that people are finding their life partners and that God is (hopefully and prayerfully) blessing their unions.

My lack of dating has made my mother very nervous. Especially since I know so many people who have gotten married or are getting married. It's interesting that my mother has switched from the mantra of "you can do bad by yourself" to repeatedly asking "So does _________ (insert name of person that she recalls me speaking of) have promise?" or "How's _________ ?"

When I moved to GA, I went on this whole "independent woman" kick. Well, not really. But for the first time in my life, I was content in being alone. Anyone who's known me, would know that I've (for the most part) always been in a relationship. It might be sufficient to call me a serial monogamist.

Anyhow, it was an empowering experience to be able to grow and explore a new environment for myself. I did things on my own terms. I did things that I wanted to do. I allowed myself to get to know me. What I like. What I don't like. What I could potentially like under the right circumstances. What I would never like under any circumstances. I developed a great relationship with myself.

Part of the reason that I felt that it was necessary to move to Georgia was so that I could learn how to make it on my own. North Carolina was great. Chapel Hill was awesome. And I did things on my own in Chapel Hill. I was pretty good at paying my rent, getting my car taken care of, and handling my business. But there was always a safety net there. My family was always able and willing to come to my rescue. It's a blessing to have family who are there and who are supportive, but there are some things that you learn by striking it out on your own.

I believe that there's a certain power in being alone. In doing things for yourself. And let's not make the mistake- being alone doesn't equate to loneliness. There are times when I'm all I've got- and that's definitely enough...and sometimes too much :-). At some point, I'll join the ranks of my married friends. But until then, I'm growing in the power of being alone and enjoying it.

So, here's to being alone and doing some work on what lies beneath the tip of the iceberg. As I've said before- the majority of the damage done to the Titanic was caused by what lies beneath the surface. Likewise, we will be destroyed not by what exists on the outside, but by what is inside of us.

Peace and Blessings, all!
Be Encouraged!

That "N-Word"

2006-12-03T08:25:00.000-05:00

What Papa Irvin Says...

Worth Quoting from the above article:

"I never understood why so many folks within the black community were willing to drink the poison of labeling one's self as a nigger, degrading one's self and one's community, not just in America, but throughout the world - through videos and hip-hop and rap music, et al., all the while dancing to the pseudo-African rhythms in which some singer calls a mother a "bitch" or sister a "ho."

I saw it as a pact made with the entertainment devil, recalling that the devil always demands his due - a note that Michael Richards paid when he shouted "niggers" right back at the audience.

Some blacks justified their use of the term as an expression of love and endearment, a homeboy kind of thing, noting the distinction between the "-igga" version and the "-er" version - and figuring that whites and everyone else would somehow know the difference between the two. This was supposedly their way of removing power from the word itself.

It may have felt good for a while, but a black person calling himself a nigger is like terrorists using suicide bombers to destroy their enemies - only to find out that once they internalize a willingness to kill their own children, they have unleashed a cultural virus."

I guess people were surprised about Michael Richards. I don't know why. I feel like I'm walking around people everyday who, under the right (or wrong circumstances), would call me a nigger. Shoot, they may have already done so, but I just haven't heard them. I don't believe that all people are like that, but I'm not surprised when they are. Racism and racist ideologies permeate our country. Oppression exists. We've just cloaked ourselves under political correctness so that these things aren't as open as they used to be.

Michael Richards has apologized for his comments. And while I'm sure that he wishes he could change his words; I'd rather he change his heart.

Regenesis

2006-12-02T15:38:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted here in a long while. Partially because of time and partially because of other reasons. I haven't really felt like I've had much to say and many of the things that have interested me haven't gotten enough of my attention for me to write about it.

I think that I've "sold out" somewhat on this blog. I started it as a way to express myself and my feelings, really nothing more than a journal put on the internet. Down the line, there was a shift to current events and other things- all of which that keep my interest, but mostly because I wanted other poeple to read and see what your thoughts were. I suppose it fills a need for constructive dialogue, and that is definitely lacking in my life. When I started, blogs weren't as popular as they are now. There was not a huge blogosphere, and I definitely did not check other people's blogs every day (as I do now). Blogging is, in some ways, very commercial. And while it's a good way to keep up with people, it's not what I'm trying to do here anymore.

At any rate, I realized that for the most part, I don't REALLY matter to the readers here. You may read what I write and comment and appreciate what I have to say, but it ends there. It's not like you're wishing harm or anything, but you're not worried about me. I'm sure it sounds horrible to say, probably even depressing and bleak, but it is what it is. I'm on a new journey with my writing, and maybe you'll continue with me for that. If not, that's cool too.

"I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me...When they approach me they only see my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination—indeed everything and anything except me...And my problem was that I always tried to go in everyone’s way but my own. I have also been called one thing and then another while no one really wished to hear what I called myself. So after years of trying to adopt the opinions of others I finally rebelled. I am an invisible (wo)man."
~Ralph Ellison

Fighting for what you believe in works...

2006-10-30T08:28:00.000-05:00

Students at Gallaudet University have illustrated that fighting for what you believe in is necessary and beneficial. In this article it is announced that Gallaudet has withdrawn its appointment of Jane Fernandes as president of the university.

This announcement comes after weeks of protest at Gallaudet, a prestigious school for the deaf, hard of hearing, and hearing. Gallaudet had selected Fernandes to be their next president, but students protested because they felt that the selection of Fernandes was a sign of audism. Fernandes was born deaf, but was mainstreamed into schooling (attended school with people who could hear), and she didn't learn sign language until her 20s. Some of her critics complained that she wasn't fluent in sign language.

I have been fascinated watching this unfold, and to me, it truly represents the power with and necessity of fighting for what you believe in. The students at Gallaudet have encouraged me. At the same time, I wonder how it feels to be Jane Fernandes- to have a board of trustees tell you that they trust you and your ability to be the next leader of a university, and to then have them rescind their offer. That has to hurt. I believe that it probably speaks more to the dynamics of the situation rather than to her abilities. At any rate, I'm sure that they feel that they are doing what is best- and in all honesty, would it be better to have a few angry Fernandes supporters, or many angry students and alumni?

This makes me wonder what could be accomplished on all levels if people came together to fight for the issues they were passionate about...

Statement from Gallaudet's Board of Trustees
Statement from Jane Fernandes
Gallaudet axes incoming president- courtesy of MSNBC.com

Race and Post Katrina Settlements

2006-10-27T12:49:00.000-04:00

"The analysis of Louisiana’s insurance complaints settled in the first year after Katrina highlights a cold, hard truth exposed by Katrina’s winds and waters: People of color and modest means, who often need the most help after a major disaster, are disconnected from the government institutions that can provide it, or distrustful of those in power."

Alan Jenkins, a former Justice Department official in the Clinton administration who lobbies for minority opportunities, said AP’s analysis reinforces a little-discussed reality exposed by Katrina.“The promise of opportunity isn’t equally available,” he said. “Race and income has made a big difference in people’s ability to start over.”

The above quotes are from this article located on MSNBC.com. Why am I not surprised to read this? And people keep saying that Hurricane Katrina was just a class issue and not a race issue. Yeah...you'd be hard pressed to convince me of that. Anyhow, the article basically asserts that white people more frequently challenged the settlements that they were offered from their insurance companies and that they generally had more knowledge about who to call about any questions or for more information. I guess people weren't thinking that it probably wouldn't be good to put information like this on a website, on the radio, or the tv- especially when you consider that people lost EVERYTHING. Dang, I hate when privilege rears its ugly head.

You can also read more about the settlement discrepancies here.

The Cause for Our Generation

2006-10-22T08:15:00.000-04:00

So, the other night I attended a program entitled "The Color of Language" sponsored by the UGA Chapter of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. In this program, they discussed the usage of the word "nigger", along with "nigga" and what it meant for our society. As expected, common questions that arose were the following:

1. Should we use the word "nigger" or "nigga"?
2. Is there a difference between the two words? If so, how is there a difference and what makes it that way?
3. When, if ever, is it okay for a white person to say "nigger" or "nigga"?

One of the themes that came from this discussion was the idea that we give the word too much power in our society and that we can determine if it is truly negative or not. One of the panelists followed with an explanation that fits this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."

However, the moderator followed by asking, how do we give a word too much power, or too much meaning; especially a word that is a charged as the word "nigger"? And, do we (people of color) really have the social power necessary to change the meaning of the word? Are we truly reclaiming the word when we use it over and over again in our communities or do we make it seem that it's okay for us to be called that by whites (and others) because we call ourselves that? This situation was likened to the gay community "reclaiming" the word "queer" or how some women have decided to "reclaim" the words "bitch", "slut", and "whore".

At any rate, as the discussion continued, the theme shifted and it was said that the problem lies in education and that there is a generational battle taking place. We are not adequately educating our children about the history and what the word means and how it has been used in the past. Also, there is a battle taking place between the Civil Rights generation and the Hip Hop generation. Each generation is trying prove that their way of handling business is better and more profitable for our people.

I believe that the problem is this: there hasn't been enough sharing and dialoguing taking place between the Civil Rights generation and our Hip Hop generation. Therefore, we don't have as sufficient understanding of what took place during the Civil Rights Movement as we should have and we're trying to find our own place without knowing our history. As Marcus Garvey has said, "A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots."

All that said, I've been thinking for the past few days about what the cause will be for our generation. What will we be known for? Will we address poverty issues? What about AIDS in our community? Or how about social injustice against race, gender, class, ages, disabilities, and religions? What about educational inequality? Health care reform? Social security? The list goes on and on...

While I was at UNC, I had the privilege of being able to serve as the president of the Black Student Movement. While in that role, I recall having a similar discussions with others about what causes our generation would take up. While I do believe that we will be strong and stand for something, I'm not sure what it will be. Sometimes I like to think that our generation is one of preparation. We're on the heels of the Civil Rights Movement and we're still trying to figure out what our cause is. We're not sure who our leaders are. And we're not certain how we'll go about addressing the issues. But we'll figure it out, and be able to adequately prepare and equip our children for the next movement.

And then there are times like this where I'm reminded that at the forefront of every mass movement has been young people. I know that we're young and capable. But are we ready?

Post your thoughts...

Oh yeah...this poem fully captures the essence of what I'm talking about...

Live from UGA and What the Black Panthers have to say...

2006-10-17T19:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, the AJC printed this opinion piece by UGA professor, Dr. Jerome Morris. In this piece, Dr. Morris encourages us to value the minds of young athletes in addition to their athletic prowess.

My background in education makes me a bit biased, but I do agree with what Dr. Morris is saying; especially in regards to the Caleb King situation. People in Atlanta were so upset that Caleb's family decided to move him to Greater Atlanta Christian School from Gwinnett County's Parkview High School. While Gwinnett County has some of the best schools in the country, I applaud his family's decision to send him to Greater Atlanta Christian School where the classes are smaller and academics are emphasized. One of my classmates is a teacher there, and according to her, academics are emphasized to the point where students are asked to leave if their grades are subpar (after an academic probation process). Students can return if they are able to bring their grades up and commit to academic excellence.

Regarding Caleb's situation- does he really lose that much by being academically successful as well as athletically successful? I sincerely doubt that his athletic ability will change as a function of his schools changing. While his exposure may change (Parkview is also a football powerhouse), I feel that those who were watching him before will be watching him now- just at a different set of games. What do y'all think?

Now, moving on. I read this article on MSNBC.com about the Black Panther Party examining their legacy 40 years later. While the group is most known for the all black attire, complete with the beret, leather jackets, and guns; they get less credit for the programs initiated within their community. Nevertheless, the group still believes that the issues within their Ten-Point Program are unfulfilled 40 years later- despite the gains made over the years.

The militancy of the group was highly criticized, especially following the non-violent civil rights agenda launched in the South by Dr. King and others. My question is- what do you all think of the legacy of the Black Panther Party?

A Shout-out for my friend...

2006-10-13T15:01:00.000-04:00

So, I discovered this article last week while perusing the Washington Post. For those of you who are wondering, Kedric Golston and I lived together last year. His girlfriend was my official roommate. He was my unofficial roommate.

Anyhow, I was delighted to see that my friend was doing well. He's overcome a lot and I'm sure that there will be great things in his future. His story is a reminder to me that God has great things planned for all of us, despite what it looks like from our perspective.

Remembering Jeremiah 29:11 and 1 Cor. 2:9.

Be encouraged all! Peace and Blessings...

Feeling Homesick

2006-10-07T21:40:00.000-04:00

"But sometimes when the Springtime comes,
And the sifting moonlight falls -
They'll think again of this night here
And these old brown walls,
Of white old well, and of old South
With bells deep booming tone,
They'll think again of Chapel Hill and -
Thinking - come back home."
~Thomas Wolfe

"What is it that binds us to this place as to no other? It is not the well or the bell or the stone walls; or the crisp October nights or the memory of dogwoods blooming … No, our love for this place is based on the fact that it is, as it was meant to be, the university of the people...in all of the American story, there is no other place like this.”
~Charles Kuralt

Finally taking a breather...

2006-10-04T19:26:00.000-04:00

I've neglected this blog. I can admit that I have. But it's happened for a good reason- I've been busy. To be quite honest, school has been kicking my behind. Big time. I mean, it hasn't been anything that I couldn't handle, but it's been a little more than I would choose to handle all at once. I've been bombarded with readings, tests, take home exams, more readings, class projects, more readings...and yes, more readings. But it's all good. I'm keeping my eyes on that May 12, 2007 prize: GRADUATION! However, I will say this- if my first semester at UGA had been like this semester, I'm almost certain that I would have reconsidered the entire idea of a masters program. Good thing the Lord knew what was up before I did...

I've been struggling to make decisions about the future. In one of my posts a few weeks back, I wrote of having lots of options and not being sure what to do about all of the options because they could all lead me to the job that I really want to have. However, in a bold move of certainty (if you could call it that), I've decided that I won't go back to school after I finish this May. At least not immediately. It's about time that I head out into the real world with my shoulders back and my head up, ready for everything that's coming my way. But, that means that it's time to start the job search. I suspect that most of next semester's surprisingly free schedule will be spent at job fairs all over the state of GA. Something different for me, but something exciting nonetheless.

As I think about my future teaching career, I can't help but feel apprehensive about entering a school setting now. I want to provide my students with the tools that they need for survival, but I also want to be safe. I want to make a difference. I want to be the change that I wish to see in the world. However, all of these school shootings make me VERY nervous. It adds one more thing to the list of things to be concerned about as a teacher. I honestly never thought about safety, but it's quickly moving to the top of the list.

Something I saw on the news that made me particularly excited was the dedication of a monument to James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. The student paper at Ole Miss, the Daily Mississippian had a number of really good articles about the dedication of the monument. Here are some of those links:

The DM Editorial

The New South Begins...

Meredith Monument Dedicated...

So there we have it...hope all is well with you and yours. Be encouraged!

So it's been a while...

2006-09-24T09:08:00.000-04:00

Lots of things have happened since I've last posted here. It's that time of the year again. School has started, football is in season, work is abundant, sleep is lacking. Yeah. We're back in full effect here.

So, I celebrated my 23rd birthday on September 12. Yeah, man...the JORDAN birthday (as Sherrell would say). Being 23 is exciting, I suppose. I remember when I was younger, I decided that I wanted to be 23 forever. Now that I'm here, I think I might be willing to reconsider. I've had some good years before turning 23. Like, I might do 17 again. That was a good year. Now that I think about it- I've had ALL good years. It's a blessing to have made it this far.

School is in full effect. The papers have started, the reading has gotten out of control, and my sleep is lacking. I've sort of gained an appreciation for Starbucks, as well as Hot Corner- this 24 hour coffee shop with comfy couches and WiFi connection. I've gotten my first evaluations back from classes and it's looking like a promising semester. I'm expecting to do well. Keep praying for me.

I got to go home last weekend and spend time with my family which is awesome. Got to see my mom who I hadn't seen since Christmas 2005. Yeah, it was like that. I love my family and I'm always excited to see them. And I got to see my sissy, who I haven't seen in a LONG time. It was good to be home.

So now I'm back to my regularly scheduled life. Things are good on this front, and hopefully they are going well with you all who read this. Postings will be more regular. I promise.

"I made it and I'm so thankful. I never could have made it this far without the Lord..."

Awesome Weekend!

2006-09-10T15:26:00.000-04:00

There have been a lot of little things that have made this weekend great! I'm just coming back from College Day 2006 at my church, and it was truly an awesome worship experience. It was so great to see the UGA community and our church community come together to worship God.

Also adding to the weekend was the UGA victory over South Carolina. I watched the game with friends and we had a good time cheering for UGA and fellowshipping with each other.

Now it's back to work- school does demand that of me. But I'm so crunk, because I know it's gonna be a great week!

Be encouraged!

Trying to find my way...

2006-09-06T21:20:00.000-04:00

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore. They create. They inspire. They push the human race forward. Maybe they have to be crazy. How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art? Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written? ... While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do...."
~Apple Commercial

"It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end."
~Ursula K. Le Guin

I guess you could say that I'm at one of those points where I'm trying to find myself and to figure out what comes next. As I'm starting (what should be) the last year of school, I'm a bit apprehensive because I don't know what I'm going to do next. There are several options available, that are waiting for me to take the time to explore them. But, I guess then the real issue would be that I don't have the time.

It's that time again- where you realize that school REALLY has started, that you do have assignments and that they do matter, that sleep might be scarce, and that coffee might need to be supplied in abundance. Gone are the leisurely afternoons of summer, the mornings where you sleep in, where you choose what you want to do. Now it's all about what needs to get done, where you need to be, and what time you need to be there.

As I said before, I know that most of my apprehension comes from not knowing what I'll do next. My parents are pressing me about life details (insurance, investments, housing, JOBS) and for the first time I don't have an answer. Maybe I'll teach after this (pending successful passing of the Praxis II- we're still praying, the results aren't in yet). Maybe I'll go back to school and work on the Ph.D. Maybe I'll find a job with a nonprofit that has a mission that I'll believe in.

It's not that I don't know what I want to do. I do. My career and life aspirations have never been clearer. It's just figuring out the path to get there (and when you can take SEVERAL paths, that makes it even more difficult). Why can't I just dance through the questions, and slowly, one day, arrive at the answer?

School Shootings Hit Home

2006-08-30T17:18:00.000-04:00

I was shocked to go into work and watch CNN Headline News and find out that Orange High School, the school I attended before transferring to NC School of Science and Math, had a school shooting today.

This is the article from CNN.com.

I can't even express the thoughts that went through my head as I heard about this. I have friends who teach there, and the siblings of some of my friends are still in school there. Wow...this REALLY hits home for me.

Culture- and Maintaining a Witness

2006-08-29T11:37:00.000-04:00

For my class yesterday, we had to search for and define "culture", particularly in respect to our fields of study within education, and our background. I defined culture by saying the following:

a set of beliefs, norms, or standards; actions and traditions for a specific group...there are several different types of culture (popular culture, dominant culture) and these might be specific to a certain racial and/or ethnic group, social class, religion, etc; and this culture may be learned and/or socially constructed.

After talking about our definitions of culture, we were broken into small groups of 5 or 6 where we had to talk about our individual culture, in terms of our career. We weren't given a specific set of questions/topics to cover, but we were told to explain our background and to define our culture.

As I talked about myself, I talked about my race, educational background, and cultural differences that I had experienced from living in Athens and living in North Carolina. This sparked some questions, as people really wanted to understand what the differences were and how they had presented themselves to me. I was comfortable with my answers and my explanation of my own culture until the person after me began to describe her culture, and she included that she was a Christian.

My discomfort was not in the fact that she mentioned that she was a Christian, but more in the fact that I had not mentioned that I was. I most definitely felt convicted in some ways, in that I know that being a Christian is important in my life; however, it wasn't "important enough" for me to mention it. As I thought further, I realized that I had sold myself short in terms of what the question was asking- that I limited myself, and thus excluded a very important aspect of my life.

I suppose I find this all to be very interesting (and I'm still trying to piece it together, so if this entry seems to be a bit disjointed, that would be why), because I have never considered my faith to be a culture, or to be an aspect of my culture. Surely it is, but I've never expanded my thinking to embrace this.

I don't know what all of this means, but I'd like to see your comments..

"Of what value is the grace that I profess to have received if it does not dramatically change the way I live? If it doesn't change the way I live, it will never change my eternal destiny."
~C.H. Spurgeon

What Do Y'all Think?

2006-08-25T16:06:00.001-04:00

I've been playing catch-up with the news, but I want to know your opinion on the following things:

1. Survivor Tribes to be Divided by Race

This season, the different tribes for the CBS reality show Survivor will be divided by racial/ethnic groups. There will be a White Tribe, an African-American Tribe, a Hispanic Tribe, and an Asian Tribe. This could be interesting. And people are in an uproar about it. I've never really watched Survivor, but my classmates are thinking of having a weekly viewing session...so that might put me in the mix.

2. Louisiana Bus Driver forces Blacks to sit in the back

So, there are claims that a Louisiana school bus driver assigned all of the black students to the two back seats of the bus. Apparently the white students on the bus had lots of space, some having seats to themself; while the 9 black students had to sit in the 2 seats with the older children holding the younger children in their laps. I wonder what will become of this. This also makes me think of when I used to ride the bus home from school and my bus drivers (all of whom were black) used to ask us why we would always sit in the back, reminding us that there was a time when we had to sit in the back.

3. George Mason University does away with SAT Scores for high achievers

I was really excited when I read that George Mason University has decided to drop the SAT and other standardized test from their admissions requirements for students who are high achievers. The above article states that students who earn a 3.5 gpa and are in the top 20% of their high school class won't have to submit those test scores with their applications, because the school feels that these tests are a poor indicator of academic achievement. George Mason might be starting a trend- similar to how UNC did when they decided to make the early decision admission non binding. We'll see what happens. However, I think it's interesting that schools are realizing something that a lot of people knew all along- those tests don't REALLY test what you know.

In my world...

2006-08-23T17:49:00.000-04:00

So, it's been a crazy week in my world. If we generally talked on IM, then you know that I haven't been hanging out on instant messenger over the last few days...because...THE MONITOR ON MY LAPTOP DIED. And that might seriously make it official that CCI Laptops are the worst things offered by the University of North Carolina. I'm currently in the market for a new laptop and if anyone can recommend a place where I can acquire one for fairly cheap, you just might be my best friend.

And, now that classes are back in session, I'm trying to get back in the swing of being a full-time student...and maintaining a job that seems to have forgotten that I'm a full-time student.

Classes are going well, and my predictions about classes are pretty accurate thus far. Check this entry from August 17 for clarity. The 8am class, is MOST DEFINITELY the jumpoff. I mean really- I'm excited about going to this class and I don't even consider going to Starbucks beforehand for my classic java chip frappuchino. You gotta love that.

And now, let me proceed to speak about my other two classes:

EFND 8150: Education and Cultural Knowledge

So, I took this class because I was interested in the material. Seriously. But it didn't hurt that the professor goes to my church AND I took a class with her this summer and got an A. And...to be quite honest, I'm strongly considering getting a Ph.D from this department, and it would be great to have her on my side for application and assistantship purposes.

But all that aside, the class is going to be good. We read a lot of work that deals with theory of education and cultural knowledge (she's really trying to make us be academics), and she seriously keeps it real. The assignments that we have support what we're learning, and she doesn't try to overload us with insane amounts of work. And- you gotta love a professor that will check someone who tries to disrespect them- ON THE VERY FIRST DAY OF CLASS. Holla at me if you want that story. It was a classic.

Additionally, we only have a few books for the class and they aren't expensive. Once again, I love professors who don't want to make graduate students go (even further) into debt. I'm not sure how I'll feel about the books, but they can't be THAT bad. And if they are, she doesn't mind if we tell her that they suck.

ESOC 6990: Research in Early Childhood, Middle School, and Social Studies Education

This is the only class I'm taking from my department this semester and it's the class that I'm (honestly) the LEAST excited about. These types of classes remind me of the ridiculous stats class that I had to take in undergrad for my Soci major.

Anyhow, despite having a horrible time trying to get the book that I ordered for the class to arrive, I think the class MAY be okay. The professor is all about business. She's a cool lady, a northener with a heavy accent, but she's got the whole "southern belle" appeal. I was sold on her the first day. What I DID NOT like was that WE ACTUALLY DID WORK ON THE FIRST DAY. Yes. The first day. We covered a chapter of material. I thought I was hallucinating or something. Who REALLY does work on the first day?

We'll learn more about types of research and assessment as opposed to actually doing research, and we'll learn about how to really interpret and design research. I suppose this class will be useful when I proceed to the next level. But I guess I'll just have to see for myself.

Alright...that was a mouthful. Or a handful. Whatever. If you're reading this and I usually talk to you, send me a text or something. Be encouraged! Peace and Blessings!

What Age Do You Act?

2006-08-23T17:35:00.000-04:00

So yeah...I'm definitely a sucker for these little tests. But the irony is- I'm right on target with acting my age. I'll be 23 on September 12th...

You Are 23 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

And We're Back...

2006-08-17T16:06:00.000-04:00

...to school that is. Classes at UGA resumed yesterday, and I've gone back to being a full-time student- or something like it. Here's a review of the classes, thus far:

SOCI 6800: Sociology of Work and Industry
I was excited about this class because I get to go back to my sociology roots. I wanted to take a class similar to this while at UNC, but I was unable to find it at a time that fit my schedule. Anyhow, at UGA we're required to take content courses to fulfill our social science requirements...so I ended up here.

I think this class will be interesting. We'll cover some traditional sociological ideas from old-school theorists such as C. Wright Mills and some new stuff as well. I'm really excited about the excerpts that we'll be reading from a book entitled "No Shame in My Game: The Working Poor in the Inner City".

Other than being in a mosquito/roach infested classroom located in the basement of an old building, this class is promising. The professor is cool (he'll be bring coffee every week and told us to bring our jump drives so that he could give us all the articles), the people seem even cooler, and I'll be glad to get back to my traditional field of study. I'll keep you posted.

EPSY 6300: Introduction to School Psychology
I enrolled in this class because we're encouraged to take other education classes- higher ed, social foundations of ed, ed psych, ed admin- just to fulfill some requirements and to be well rounded. When I first became interested in education, I thought that I would want to get my Ph.D in Ed Psych. But times change, and so do our minds...

This class had the potential to be GREAT...but there were some shortcomings. There were only 7 people in the class, and while I'm all about seminars, it's not what I was expecting for an "intro" class. Of those 7 people, 4 of them were doctoral students in the School Psych program. That wasn't a deterrent, but what did deter me was the professor basically talking to those 4 doctoral students the ENTIRE class period. I, along with the other 2 students in the class who aren't in the doctoral program got NO eye contact, NO questions, NOTHING. I left class wondering why I came, and that led me to my next decision: dropping the class.

Classes for grad students are hard to come by outside of their department, but it wasn't something that I needed- and since she hadn't created a curriculum for people outside of the School Psych program, I didn't think that I should take it. If a class is going to be open to all people, you should teach it that way. Anyhow, I figured I could find something else to spend my tuition dollars on...

PSYC 6500: The Psychology of Prejudice
As of now, this class is the winner in the bunch. The professor is excited, the material is interesting (although the books ARE pricey), and I actually know some people in the class; despite the fact that it is outside of my department. It's a class that has undergrad and grad students (yay for meeting more people), and the professor seems to be REAL. She is all about creating an open classroom environment where we are honest with ourselves and each other, and she started by telling us where some of her own prejudices might be.

We'll read some good material, some that I've read before; from people such as Peggy McIntosh, Beverly Tatum, and W.E.B. DuBois. Reading good stuff for a class is always exciting.

The downfall of this class- it's at 8am. On Tuesdays AND Thursdays. I might as well be a first year student in Chem 011.

so...that's the rundown thus far. I've got 2 more classes to check out. I'll keep you updated...

Great Is Thy Faithfulness

2006-08-15T10:26:00.000-04:00

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"
~Lamentations 3:22-24

This morning as I was driving to work, feeling a little gloomy because I was tired and just a little discouraged in my spirit, I saw the rays of sun shining through the clouds and I was almost moved to tears. It really felt as if God was shining his mercies down on me. I was reminded that as the verse above says, God's compassions are new every morning; and that God is faithful to us- even when we aren't as faithful to Him as we should be.

Whatever your situation might be, be encouraged and know that God has not forgotten and that He is faithful. He ALWAYS keeps his promises, and I can truly testify to that.

Be encouraged! Peace and Blessings!

"Yes, God is real; real in my soul. Yes, God is real; for He has washed and made me whole. His love for me is like pure gold. Yes, God is real for I can feel him in my soul."

Thoughts on Reading

2006-08-14T11:09:00.000-04:00

I love to read. I started reading at a very young age- my parents say I was around 3 years old, and my life hasn't been the same since. For years, I received gift cards for any and every possible occasion, and they were always to a bookstore. My parents, while excited about my love for reading were always dismayed at the gift cards because they knew that going to a bookstore with me would be a LONG adventure. To this day, my parents refuse to accompany me to any bookstore, saying, "I mean, Erin, I just don't want to be there ALL day."

As a future educator (pending the outcome of these Praxis II Scores- y'all keep praying for that), I understand the importance of reading. And I don't think that I can begin to explain my frustration when I look at people's profiles on The Facebook and it says something like "I don't read/Reading is Wack/etc..." If you're on The Facebook, chances are you've read SOMETHING- and you probably liked it. But I guess it's not cool to be a reader, or you know, an academic. God forbid you actually use and expand upon the intelligence and abilities that helped you get into college in the first place.

But, I digress. In today's Durham Herald Sun, I found this article which talks about the Stanford L. Warren Branch Library, on Fayetteville Street in Durham. While I've only been in the library once, I've passed it so many times in my life; as it's location is very close to my grandmother's church. At any rate, the article tells the history of the library, and states that today marks the 90th anniversary of the beginning of public library services for blacks in Durham County.

Thinking of that, I guess I feel that we've gotten a little too comfortable with our situation. I think that we forget that it used to be a crime to teach blacks how to read. I think that we forget that even today, people believe that the best way to hide information from blacks is to put it in a book. I think that we forget that people fought and died for rights and services such as the one mentioned above. Yesterday my pastor indicated that our generation is in a problematic situation because we have, in some ways, been disserviced by our families; taught that we have made it to the promised land, when in fact, we have not. Thus, we have a sense of entitlement; and we feel that we are owed certain things, that we should actually be fighting to achieve.

All that said, I'ma close with some of my favorite books...and I'd love to hear your thoughts and/or your favorite books too!

Some of my Favorite Books (Not in any particular order after the first one):
1. The Bible (yeah, all 66 books, but I'm really partial to the New Testament)
2. The Purpose Driven Life
3. The Dream Giver
4. Savage Inequalities
5. The Autobiography of Malcolm X
6. Pride and Prejudice
7. The House of Mirth
8. A Raisin in the Sun
9. The Souls of Black Folk
10. Invisible Man
11. Native Son
12. East of Eden

some randomness

2006-08-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

Right now, I don't have much to write about- but there are some things that I want to say. And, I'll warn you that it is quite random.

things that bother me:
1. The AJC's Sunday edition is available for purchase on Saturday. So basically, my Sunday newspaper is like 2 days old. I guess I should check the web for news updates.

2. My job tries to charge me $0.15 for a cup of water. Are you freaking kidding me? And then when I bring in our special work cup, you want to check my drink and make sure that I got water?

things for me to be excited about:

1. School starts on Wednesday- AND I like my classes. This time next year I'll be "Erin Davis, M.Ed".

2. Football is back on TV. Yes, it's preseason. Yes, it's 5th string. Yes, it's slow. But it's FOOTBALL!

3. My sisters are following in my footsteps and are trying out for the volleyball team. WHEN they make the team, I might seriously have to venture out to PHX to check them out on the court.

old school songs for right now:

1. "Incomplete" - Sisqo
2. "On Broadway" - George Benson
3. "The Love We Had" - Dru Hill

The Truth in Music- or Art

2006-08-08T14:50:00.000-04:00

I suppose I'm in a music mode right now, but recently I've been thinking of how the words of Marvin Gaye's classic hit "What's Going On" are so true in today's society. I remember listening to this song in the car with my dad (probably the same car with no air-conditioning that I reference in the previous post)

I know we could all sing the song from memory, but look at some of the lyrics:

"Mother, mother/There's too many of you crying/Brother, brother, brother/There's far too many of you dying/You know we've got to find a way/To bring some lovin' here today...Father, father/We don't need to escalate/You see, war is not the answer/For only love can conquer hate/You know we've got to find a way/To bring some lovin' here today..."

Another song that our parents would appreciate that is true for today's society would be "Wake Up Everybody" by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes. Check the lyrics:

"Wake up everybody no more sleeping in bed/No more backward thinkin, time for thinkin ahead/The world has changed so very much/From what it used to be/There is so much hatred, war, and poverty/Wake up all the teachers time to teach a new way/Maybe then they'll listen to what you have to say/Cause they're the ones who's coming up and the world is in their hands/When you teach the children teach them the best you can."

And just the other day, Sherrell and I were talking about John Mayer's song "Waiting on the World to Change", and how it may be the "What's Going On" for our generation. Some of the lyrics are:

"Now if we had the power/To bring our neighbors home from war/They would've never missed a Christmas/No more ribbons on the door/When you trust your television/What you get is what you got/Cuz when when they own the information ooohhh/They can bend it all they want..."

I suppose we find that art reflects life and that life reflects art. I'm not sure if this is the chicken and the egg debate or the nature/nurture debate, but I guess it's interesting to see how some things, no matter how much time has passed, will generally always hold some sort of relevance.

"This song was 30 years ahead of its' time." ~My Daddy, on "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye

Papa Was a Rollin' Stone...

2006-08-03T10:19:00.000-04:00

Alright, seriously. I love this song. I can remember the first time I heard it. It was a summer afternoon, and my dad and I were riding in the car. His car didn't have air condition and I was trying to convince him to test drive cars (even though we had no intention of buying one) so that we could ride around in some air condition for a while. Anyhow, he had made a mixed tape from one of the albums that he had, and this song was on there. It was love at first sound.

So, for years I've been arguing/heatedly discussing with people the lyrics; particularly in the chorus:

"Papa was a rolling stone/wherever he laid his hat was his home/and when he died/all he left us was ________"

Exactly. Is it "a loan" or "alone"? I firmly believe that it is "a loan"...and here's why-

The song starts of by saying:

"It was the 3rd of September/That day I'll always remember (Yes, I will)/Cause that was the day that my daddy died/I never got a chance to see him/Never heard nothing but bad things about him/Mama, I'm depending on you to tell me the truth..."

So, the way I figure is- you can't leave me alone if I never knew you. Seriously.

Some other lyrics from the song that I believe support this:

"Hey Mama, Is it true, what they say that Papa never worked a day in his life?...Heard some talk about Papa doin' some storefront preachin'. Talkin' about savin' souls, and all the time leechin'. Dealin' in debt! And stealing in the name of the Lord..." ~Verse 2

"Hey, Mama, I heard Papa call himself a jack of all trades. Tell me, is that what sent Papa to an early grave? Folks say Papa would beg, borrow, or steal to pay his bills..."~Verse 3

So to continue with my reasoning- we find in verse 2 that he was "dealin' in debt and stealing in the name of the Lord" and in verse 3 we learn that he would "beg, borrow, or steal to pay his bills." This would mean that when he died he owed people money. And when people die, you or rather the family/the estate has to settle their debts. That said, he left them "a loan"- meaning they had to settle his debts with their own money.

Whew...hope that makes sense. I'm sure there will be some debate on this. But it's just what I believe. What do you think?

Experience the Andy Griffith Show

2006-08-01T08:45:00.000-04:00

As a North Carolina native, I grew up watching The Andy Griffith Show. While it's not one of my favorite shows, I definitely got a good laugh out of it; and it was cool to watch people on television talk about places I knew about in my home state or had visited.

Apparently North Carolinians aren't the only ones to truly appreciate this show. This article on CNN.com, discusses a married couple who have made their home into a bed and breakfast that is an exact replica of Andy Taylor's home on the show. The couple met in a chat room about the show.

As a guest at the bed and breakfast, you have the option of staying in Andy's room, Opie's room, or Aunt Bee's room. Perhaps the only thing about this bed and breakfast that isn't a true representation of the show is its' location--it's located in Clear Lake, Wisconsin.

I'll be honest and say that I never considered traveling to Wisconsin for any reason other than graduate school at UW-Madison or a Green Bay Packers football game. However, my discover of this little bed and breakfast that provides a snippett of North Carolina history may have changed my mind. Any one care to join me?

Coming Back as a Black Woman

2006-07-27T11:43:00.000-04:00

My aunt sent me this via email (she always sends me cute forwards when she's at work, making me wonder if she REALLY has a job) and I really liked it, so I thought I'd post it here:

COMING BACK BLACK

In a round table discussion about whether reincarnation was really possible, a financially struggling single woman said, "I want to come back as a rich white woman's poodle that's pampered and rides around all day in her luxury car."

A tired waitress said, "I want to come back rich and make a lot of money and be a mega-super recording star".

The frustrated computer tech said, "If I can come back, I want to be the President, so I can change a lot of things about this world near andfar."

Another woman thought about it and said, "I don't know if it's possible, but if I can... God, please let me come back a BLACK WOMAN.

I want to come back with a mind fierce and sharp, with a spiritual faith that never waivers or doubts. With a smile that is warm, and a body divine - with honey, cinnamon or chocolate skin, draped in purple and gold. And, whether young or old, always have enough money so the words broke, layaway, overdue, or postdated check isn’t in MY vocabulary.

I want to be a sister to my sister.

A woman wise when choosing my mate or a date.

I want to be able to cook greens, barbecue chicken, macaroni and cheese, cornbread, a peach cobbler and a lemon pound cake all at the same time.

I want to come back a BLACK WOMAN with self-esteem, worthy of being treated like a QUEEN by my King.

A woman with patience, love, and wisdom for children.

A BLACK WOMAN with subscriptions to Essence, Jet, Ebony, Black Enterprise, and the Wall Street Journal.

I want to come back a BLACK WOMAN with at least one great diamond from the Motherland on my finger.

I want to come back with the quiet courage of Rosa Parks,
the voice of Ella Fitzgerald,
the political courage of Ida B. Wells,
the determination of Harriet Tubman,
the spiritual poise of Susan L.Taylor,
the business savvy of Oprah Winfrey,
the eloquence of Dr. Maya Angelou,
and be the author of bestseller books like Iyanla Vanzant.

I want to come back as a BLACK WOMAN, who can stay focused on GOD regardless of the circumstances.

I want to be SAVED from the penalty of sin.

I want to never let what a person says or do change my demeanor.

I want to be humble, and to love and be loved unconditionally.

I want skin that is flawless and soft, eyes of discernment, and lips that speak ONLY the truth.

I want hands of gentleness and feet of prosperity.

I want to be a lawyer to enforce the laws which man has broken.

If reincarnation is real, please let me come back as a BLACK WOMAN!!!"

staying encouraged...

2006-07-23T16:05:00.000-04:00

The past few weeks have been rough, but I've been making it. Thank you so much to all of you who have been praying for me and dropping words of encouragement. It has helped so much and I truly appreciate it. Despite the obvious situation, it seems that the devil is also busy at work. At any rate, God has been faithful and is in the process of restoring my heart, my mind, and my zeal. Here are some things that have helped me to stay encouraged:

"Temptations, hidden snares often take us unawares, And our hearts are made to bleed for a thoughtless word or deed; And we wonder why the test when we try to do our best,But we’ll understand it better by and by...By and by, when the morning comes, When the saints of God are gathered home, We’ll tell the story how we’ve overcome, For we’ll understand it better by and by..."
~We'll Understand it Better By and By

"When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul...Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul...It is well, it is well, with my soul."
~It is Well with My Soul

"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is."
~ Colossians 2:2-5

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us...And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?...Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?...No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
~Romans 8:18, 28-31, 35, 37-39

"You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat. It is written: 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God.' So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way"
~Romans 14:10-13

"I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naive people."
~Romans 16:17-18

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
~Hebrews 12:1-3

attempting to manage my grief

2006-07-21T14:37:00.000-04:00

"I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."
~Morgan Freeman, The Shawshank Redemption

It's with those thoughts from one of my favorite movies that I write about how I'm managing (or rather, not managing) the grief that I feel from my grandmother's death. In a lot of ways I'm still in shock. It's still very hard to believe that she's not here. I suppose this will be an uphill battle, and I'm definitely having good days and bad days. The worst days are when something good happens, or when I just want to talk and I have to remind myself that I can't call her anymore.

I know that it would have been selfish for me to ask God to prolong her stay on earth despite what His plan was, and how she may have been feeling. But in a lot of ways I feel frustrated- particularly with my family- who didn't tell me the extent of her sickness because they didn't want me to worry. I feel that I was cheated of opportunities to talk to her, or even see her sooner than I did. I trust God and His plan- but I can't help but feel frustrated, confused, and even alone in this situation. I feel that I'm at a point that has the potential to be very defining- my desire to do things has diminished. I don't want to finish school, I don't really want to work- staying at home and eating cereal while watching Cosby Show and Gilmore Girls reruns seems like the ultimate plan, and the only thing that I'm really excited about. Nothing "newsworthy" seems that exciting to me (hence the lack of updates of this blog), and for the first time in a while, I just feel blah. Nothing REALLY matters to me.

So yeah...that's where I'm at. Y'all pray for me...I don't know whether I'm coming or going...

In Honor of My Grandmother

2006-07-14T12:01:00.000-04:00

For those of you who weren't aware, my grandmother became pretty ill on July 3, and passed away on July 8. I've been at home with family for the last week dealing with the loss and taking care of business. Thank you for your prayers and for your encouragement during this time. I was initially placed on the program to make remarks at my grandmother's funeral, which was yesterday, but there was a sudden change; and I was removed from the program. Here are the remarks that I had written:

I have been instructed, encouraged, and strongly admonished to be brief in these remarks. I’ll contend that these remarks will be, as a woman’s skirt, long enough to be appropriate, yet short enough to keep your attention.

On this day, it is extremely difficult to find enough words to truly express what my grandmother, Mrs. Mildred Eleanor Roberts Davis has meant to us.

I believe my grandmother to be a truly phenomenal woman. She lived a full life of conviction and purpose. Not without her own faults, as we all have, she used everyday as I believe that God would want us all to do: as a chance to start afresh at what He has set out for us to do.

My grandmother taught me a great deal about life. Most importantly, she taught me about being proud of your family; about who you are and where you come from. I’m sure that most of you have witnessed this—as she was always speaking proudly of the things that were being accomplished within her family. I’m quite certain that more of you know more about me than I could possibly know about you—but that was the type of woman that she was. Very proud of each of us, and she wanted to share that joy with you.

My grandmother also taught me about what it meant to serve others. Even as her health declined, she still found ways to give of herself- whether it was her time, her waning energy, or her joy. I am thoroughly amazed at the variety of avenues that she found to serve others; working in this church, in her community with the food bank, or taking time to help educate young people; either within her profession, or through the summer day camp that she conducted at this church for years with my late grandfather.

Today is the day that we get to truly celebrate the well-lived life of Mrs. Mildred Eleanor Roberts Davis. On this day, we give praise to you for your encouragement, as you guided us with love and nurtured us with your caring spirit.

On this day, we give praise to you for teaching us that mediocrity was never acceptable, as you pushed us outside of our comfort zones into worlds that we could have never imagined for ourselves.

On this day, we give praise to you, for demonstrating to us that we are never too old to accomplish our dreams, and for showing us that there is absolutely no substitute for faith in God and tenacity to work at what He sets our hearts to do.

On this day, we give praise to you for the battles you fought and the sacrifices you made so that we could live lives that we had never imagined for ourselves, but that you dreamed of for us.

On this day, we give praise to you for dedicating your life to encouraging precocious and excited young people who just needed an opportunity to exhibit their talents and intelligence to the world.

To our loved ones and friends from far and near- we thank you for your prayers, your cards, your visits, and your calls. All have encouraged and uplifted us in this time. To those who are here today, we thank you for joining us as we celebrate this woman whom we all loved so very much.

To my family, I believe that my grandmother would want us to be encouraged by the following verses from Colossians 2:2-5:

“My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in who are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments. For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.”

It is my hope that each of us will be comforted by the knowledge that my grandmother was a great servant for the Lord, and that she has been reunited with him. I believe that she anxiously awaits the day that we can each be reunited with her. It is my sincere prayer that we follow in the words of Paul as he speaks to the believers in Thessalonica, saying in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, 16 “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing…be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” Let us stay close to each other, and even closer to God in this time which is difficult for each of us.

In Honor of my Grandmother, Mrs. Mildred Eleanor Roberts Davis

August 20, 1935 - July 8, 2006

Being a black man is stressful...

2006-07-02T16:08:00.000-04:00

...as it was reported in this article on MSNBC.com. Finding articles such as these often makes me nervous, because I'm always curious to see how the ideas/perceptions that the authors/interviewers have about their subject are expressed in their writing. After reading the article; however, it made me think a lot about how I perceive black men and the stresses that they endure in today's society. As a black woman, it's very interesting to actually hear and/or read about some of what black men endure. Yes, we know about some of it through our own personal experiences and exposure to black men, but I really liked the way the article expressed the ideas. Following the reading, I thought of two quotes from two very eloquent Black writers/thinkers/scholars: W.E.B. DuBois and Ralph Ellison.

In his classic literary work, Invisible Man , initially published in 1947, Ralph Ellison describes the invisibility that he felt; something that I feel that all African Americans can identify with, and something that might currently be very poignant with black men:

"I am an invisible man…I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Like the bodiless heads you see sometimes in circus sideshows, it is as though I have been surrounded by mirrors of hard distorting glass. When they approach me they only see my surroundings, themselves, or figments of their imagination—indeed everything and anything except me."

Simultaneously, I feel that the noted African American scholar, W.E.B. DuBois sufficiently describes the experience African Americans and their history in America, but also now more than ever, the experience of black men in his prominent work The Souls of Black Folk, saying,

"It is a peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always having to look at one's self through the eyes of others, of measuring one's soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity. One ever feels his twoness,--an American, a Negro; two souls, two thoughts, two unreconciled strivings; two warring ideals in one dark body, whose dogged strength alone keeps it from being torn asunder. The history of the American Negro is the history of this strife,--this longing to attain self-conscious manhood, to merge his double self into a better and truer self. In this merging he wishes neither of the other selves to be lost. He would not Africanize America, for America has too much to teach the world and Africa. He would not bleach his Negro soul in a flood of white Americanism, for he knows that Negro blood has a message for the world. He simply wishes to make it possible for a man to be both a Negro and an American, without being cursed and spit upon by his fellows, without having the doors of Opportunity closed roughly in his face."

That said, it could be that the primary issue that black men face is one of perception. How others perceive them (invisibility) and how they perceive themselves (double-consciousness). So...let's sound off. From the black men, does the article hit home with some of the stresses that you face? Do you feel that black women are understanding of the stresses and struggles that you face? What do you wish the article had included/excluded?

King Collection to be at Morehouse College

2006-06-24T07:41:00.000-04:00

Sotheby's Auction House will be canceling their June 30th planned sale of the King Collection. As reported in this article on CNN.com, the King children will receive an undisclosed amount of money from an anonymous group of people, and the King Collection will be housed at Morehouse College, King's alma mater. The collection will be on display at Sotheby's in New York until June 29, 2006.

So, it seems as if the City of Atlanta rose to the challenge issued by former Atlanta mayor Andrew Young, when he stated that Atlanta would be "...a cheap city if it does not come up with the enough money to keep that heritage here" when talking about the King Collection.

I've been following this story on the blog and you can see previous postings from June 9 and from June 11. There were comments about what should happen to the King Collection, and I was surprised that the King family didn't originally leave the collection to Morehouse College or add it in as a part of the exhibits with the King Center. With the collection now slated to come back to Atlanta, that will extend the depth of King memorabilia in the city- which is his hometown- but it would also put a huge monopoly on access to this information. As it stands now, you can get the "all you need to know about Martin Luther King, Jr." just by coming to Atlanta.

While it's great that the city has a lot to offer in terms of information and history of Martin Luther King, for people who might never come to Atlanta, they could miss out. I'll maintain that I would have loved for this to be a traveling exhibit- perhaps going around to different colleges and universities so that other people would have access to this information too. Not that I don't think that Atlanta is a great place to have the information; it's not that Atlantans aren't appreciative and proud of the King Center and the other King memorabilia that exists in the city. However, I feel that the power of knowledge lies in the fact that it can enlighten others- and that happens when it is shared between individuals and institutions. I suppose I just want others outside of Atlanta and the South to see this information too. And yes, I do understand that this information, among other things, makes Atlanta marketable and draws in lots of tourists from other areas. Nevertheless, it wasn't until the year 2000 when ALL 50 states celebrated the MLK Holiday, which implies that we still have some work to do on achieving King's dream. And what better way to do that than by sharing the information within his collection with others?

Note: Articles similar to the one on CNN.com can be found here, courtesy of MSNBC.com, and also here, courtesy of the AJC.com

What Lies Beneath

2006-06-22T18:30:00.000-04:00

Something for us all to think about-

The majority of the damage done to the Titanic by the iceberg was caused by what was lying beneath the surface. Likewise, we will be destroyed, not by what people can see on the exterior, but by what exists inside of us.

We should all ask ourselves what it is that lies beneath the surface that has the potential to destroy us- and then strive to fix it. There's always room for improvement- it's the biggest room in the house.

thoughts on Father's Day

2006-06-19T16:40:00.000-04:00

As we all know, yesterday was Father's Day. On this day, we celebrate and appreciate our fathers- and the other men in our lives (uncles, grandfathers, godfathers, etc.)who have helped to shape our world into what we know it to be. For Father's Day, we usually see lots of sales on electronic goods and hardware. And there aren't nearly as many varieties of cards for Father's Day. It was so difficult for me to find the perfect card for my father, my godfather, my stepfather, and my pastor.

The issue of Father's Day is sort of touchy for me; and those who know me well would probably have a good idea why. While I was privileged to have my father be especially invovled in my life for the first 15-16 years, his involvement dramatically decreased following my parents' divorce...and subsequently our relationship went downhill. It took me a long time to get to a point where I truly forgave my father for things that took place- and there are still things that occur that frequently test that. That said, I could truly relate to what Nat Irvin (the beloved father of my old roommate, Jovian) said in his Sunday column published in the Winston Salem Journal.

You can read Papa Irvin's article here, but I've included an excerpt:

"Being a good father to your child can be one of the greatest joys in a man's life...On this Father's Day, I am thankful that I had and still have a father who understands that being a father is more than just some kind of biological accident. It is a statement of commitment to your children - and if you stay with it, they will bring a lifetime of happiness. I feel sorry for the men who are fathers by biology only. They not only deny their children a father who is involved in their lives; they also deny themselves one of the greatest joys that life can offer."

And so...that inclined me to think about some things. While I'm truly grateful that I was privileged to have my father in my life for some period of time, it's also frustrating. Sure, he made all the big events: graduation from high school/graduation from college. But what about seeing me off before prom? Or what about being there to inquire about the behavior of the guy that I was dating? Or what about helping me move into my apartment? I'm saddened that my father has missed some of these smaller events in my life that have also helped form me into who I am today.

For the past couple of days I've been trying to decide if I feel it's worse to never have your father involved in your life- or to have him invovled for a while and then not be involved at all. What I realized is that it's not anything that can be compared, and that it there are different situations and circumstances that allow for each. And in some ways, it's choosing the lesser of two evils.

All that said, this past Father's Day was one of realization. I realized the many ways that my father positively impacted my life and how I was grateful for that. I realized the power that lies in forgiveness, and the importance of forgiving others. I realized that I have been blessed with many other men who have been fatherly- Dr. Ervin, my pastor, my godfather, my stepfather, along with several uncles- and who have also helped to make a difference. I realized the value in having a father around, and the difference that it can make. And most importantly, I was reminded that ultimately my life is about God's glory- and things that happen in my life are all purposed by God.

Jay-Z Boycotts Cristal

2006-06-16T09:39:00.000-04:00

I love Jay-Z. Plain and simple. I'm one of the people who WILL NOT download his music, nor will I accept downloaded copies from anyone else. I'm at the midnight sales for his albums, or at the local Best Buy on the first day the album is released so that I can continue to show my support. Jay-Z and I have had the longest standing rap relationship, starting back when I was in 9th grade and my best friend Amy (who, ironically enough) was white bought me "In My Lifetime- Volume 1" for Christmas. Since then...we've been 2 peas in a pod...

Today while reading CNN, I found this article:

"Jay-Z Leads Cristal Boycott"

So apparently, Jay-Z feels that comments made by the managing director of Cristal were racist, and he has vowed to stop purchasing Cristal for his own personal use, as well for use in his establishments (The 40/40 Club). And with Jay-Z now serving as president and CEO of Def Jam Records, I'm sure that this boycott could have a trickle down effect.

It is no secret that a lot of companies don't identify and/or support the hip-hop lifestyle in which they are celebrated in. Cristal was originally made for Tsar Alexander II- I wonder what the original Roederers (the family that owns and produces Cristal) ever imagined that it would be celebrated in such a way. Similarly, does anyone remember when Busta Rhymes boycotted Burberry because they said that he didn't support the image for which Burberry was created?

While I think that this could cause a major impact on the Roederer company, I imagine that it won't. Think of what could happen if ALL rappers/people who spend extreme amounts of money on Cristal backed Jay-Z up on his boycott? That would definitely send a message to the company; however, I think that there would be too much discord- or too many people saying "it didn't happen to me, so that can't possibly be how it is"...

At any rate, in the event that I were to purchase and/or consume champagne, it WOULD NOT be Cristal...partially because I can't afford it...and partially because my affinity and allegiance has always been to cheap champagne. Perhaps one day when my feelings about the consumption of alcohol change, as well as the depths of my bank account, I'd reconsider. Or maybe not.

Who are my celebrity sisters?

2006-06-16T00:17:00.000-04:00

Your Celebrity Sisters Are Beyonce and Solange

Talented, sexy, and sassy.
You've got a star quality that everyone notices

Who Are Your Celebrity Sisters?

Which Sex and the City Vixen am I?

2006-06-16T00:15:00.000-04:00

You Are Most Like Carrie!

You're quirky, flirty, and every guy's perfect first date.
But can the guy in question live up to your romantic ideal?
It's tough for you to find the right match - you're more than a little picky.
Never fear... You've got a great group of friends and a
great closet of clothes, no matter what!

Romantic prediction: You'll fall for someone this year...

Totally different from any guy you've dated.

Which Sex and the City Vixen Are You?

Who will get the dream?

2006-06-11T17:42:00.000-04:00

As I posted on June 9, Sotheby's will be auctioning the Marting Luther King, Jr. Collection on beginning on June 30. That said, I was not surprised to read this article in today's Atlanta Journal-Constitution which discusses the potential buyers for the King Collection. Former Atlanta mayor, and personal friend of King, Andrew Young has pretty much issued a challenge to the city of Atlanta to purchase the papers, saying "This is a cheap city if it does not come up with enough money to keep that heritage here."

I was actually surprised to find out that the collection hadn't been left to Morehouse College (King's Alma Mater) or added to the items that are kept at the King Center. Where the collection will end up; however, remains to be seen.

Photos of some of the items in the collection can be viewed here. Readers, where would you like to see the collection end up?

Girls will be Girls and Boys will be Boys...

2006-06-09T19:44:00.000-04:00

...in separate classrooms. This article talks about the growing trend of same-sex classrooms, and outlines some of the arguments for and against it.

I saw the same sex classrooms at work while doing a summer program with the Sunflower County Freedom Project. At first I was uncertain as to how well it would work, but it worked very well, particularly with the middle-school aged students that we were working with. As we all know, the adolescent/pre-teen/early teen age group is one that is just a bundle of emotions with hormones in overdrive. In my opinion, having the students separated allowed them to focus more on their work, and not trying to impress their boyfriend/girlfriend/prospective boopiece while in class. After seeing it in action, I was very impressed, and I would definitely support it in other classroom settings (ie: the public school arena).

So, what do y'all think? How would you feel about same-sex classrooms?

Selling the Dream

2006-06-09T19:28:00.000-04:00

Sotheby's to auction MLK Collection

On June 30, Sotheby's will auction the Martin Luther King, Jr. Collection, which includes nearly 7,000 handwritten items, including a draft of the notorious "I Have a Dream" speech. The money from the auction is slated to go to the King estate, which is struggling financially.

The King estate hopes that the collection will be sold to an institution, rather than an individual; and I hope that also. There's a wealth of knowledge within that collection that should be properly preserved and available to the public. I suppose we'll see what happens on June 30.

To go or not to go?

2006-06-06T17:04:00.000-04:00

One of the first things that my cooperating teacher told me when I met with her about my student-teaching assignment was that there was a strict policy regarding students having to use the restrooms during class. Generally, they were only supposed to be allowed to leave class to use the restroom 3 times during the semester, and after they reached the limit, we (teachers) weren't supposed to permit them to go.

I thought the rule was dumb. I mean, how are you going to limit the number of times that someone may use the restroom- and then say that they are in high school and that they should be treated like young adults? That doesn't make sense to me. I always felt that having to use the restroom and being forced to hold it would be a large distraction to their learning than leaving class for a few minutes and going to use the restroom. Additionally, sometimes students just need a break to get themselves together. So, I allowed my students to go as needed. I guess that's me getting my start to bucking the system in education.

Apparently, Winder-Barrow High School, where I did my student teaching wasn't the only school having this problem. I read this article on MSNBC.com which talks about how some schools are docking points off of the final grade for students who exceed the restroom usage limit during the course of the semester.

What is the real issue here? Are we trying to make sure that students are getting the most of their time in schools? Seriously- we all know that trying to use the bathroom during the change of classes can be downright impossible in some schools; so why punish students for leaving class to take care of it? I know that it can be excessive, in some cases. And I also know that in some schools going to the restroom can be pretty dangerous, but is this really the way of taking care of those problems?

Y'all help me out- tell me what you think...

Eye-Catching, courtesy of MSNBC.com

2006-06-03T11:30:00.000-04:00

So, I've again been super busy with my Maymester classes here at The University of Georgia. For those of you who aren't sure what Maymester is, it's a SUPER condensed summer session- you go hard core for about 3.5-4 weeks for almost 3 hours a day. I, in all of my excitement and brilliance, decided to take TWO Maymester classes, in addition to the responsibilities that I have with work and with church. Needless to say, that hasn't left me much time to do updating here. Anyhow, I have, as always, been keeping up with life and the outside world via MSNBC.com, and here are some articles that I have found interesting:

1. What it Means to be a Black Man

I found this article to be REALLY good, as it gave a very good overview of what it means to be a black man in the United States. It included some statistical information that was definitely dismal, but countered it with including information about black men who have overcome the stereotypes to be very successful. I think this is a good article because it attempts to bring to light the issues that black men face. Besides, black women have been trying to figure out what black men think for years. It doesn't get much better than this- at least when you consider the social issues.

2. Women Passing Men in Academic Fields

Okay women! We're now earning the majority of degrees in fields that used to be dominated by men; fields such as: business, biological sciences, social sciences, and history. The number of women enrolled in college has skyrocketed over the past years, and according to the article, women outnumber men by AT LEAST 2 million on college campuses. I think this is great, and it shows the progress that has been made over the years. For those in doubt, women are just as capable and qualified as men...but now if we could only get equal pay for equal work...

3. Rethinking Marriage after 40

So, I went to several weddings last year, and I've been invited to several for this year. This article is interesting because it attacks the notions of women who didn't marry young (young = 23-27) and shows that they (well some of them) still found someone and they weren't confined to being an old maid or spinster. I also like to read articles on marriage because I know people who are getting married, and because I think that a lot of times our culture has minimized the value of marriage via shows such as The Bachelor/Bachelorette, Average Joe, Flavor of Love, etc. Marraige has value as a social institution (hence the battle for gay marriage) and as a religious institution.

How Educated Should a Teacher Be?

2006-05-17T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure how I feel about this blog and the subsequent comments that I read in today's Atlanta Journal-Constitution. I definitely agree that to be a good teacher, it is not REQUIRED that you have a higher degree. It is important that you know your subject matter, and that you have the true desire to educate students and push them to be the best that they can be.

I was definitely upset that I saw a lot of comments that hinted that Education degrees are useless. While I have my undergraduate degree in Sociology and African-American Studies, I find it very useful that my Masters of Education will be in Social Studies Education. Not only will my Masters degree give me my certification to teach in the state of Georgia, I am given the opportunity to take courses that help you understand the Methodology of Social Studies Education, or the ideas behind curriculum and planning for classes. Additionally, we are encouraged to take courses such as Teaching US History, Teaching Geography, Teaching Economics, and courses in Special Education to fulfill the requirements for graduation.

I felt that it was very important for me to continue and get my Masters in Education, so that I could sharpen my craft of being a teacher. While there are aspects of the curriculum that seem very theoretical, there are also aspects that are very realistic and applicable. It bothers me that teachers are criticized for wanting to get higher degrees and higher pay. Why shouldn't practice what they preach and continue with their learning in a formal setting? (We all know that learning also takes place in an informal setting). And why shouldn't teachers want to get paid more? What if we as a society placed our priorities in the right place and truly paid teachers what they deserve for the work that they do?

I don't know anyone who's into teaching for the pay. And I also don't know anyone who's gone on to pursue a higher degree SOLELY for the reason of making more money. The people that I know are truly interested in making a difference in the lives of young people, and they feel that one way that they can be better prepared to do that is by having a Masters or a Ph.D. And I've had phenomenal teachers who hadn't gone on to get whatever degree that would have gotten them more money. I've had phenomenal teachers who had gone on to get whatever degree that got them more money. Their advanced degree might have said that they had obtained more knowledge, but their passion and desire to help students was what made the difference in the classroom.

Whew. All that said, what do you all think? How educated should our teachers be? Does a teacher having that Masters or that Ph.D make a difference? Leave some comments...